You Found Me
by Khloe
Summary: Will Sami finally get over austin, now that he is marrying Carrie? Could Lucas be the key to helping her? Will sami crack under all the pressure or sing her heart out through the tention? Ships include: L & S and C & A
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Days Of Our Lives characters or the songs Wreck of the Day by Anna Nalick or the song Can't Fight the Moonlight by Leeann Rhymes. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter One **

'Carrie' was always the first word that came to mind when I saw him. I have been asked a lot lately if he and I are an item or a couple so to speak. I of course respond sweetly "No just good friends". There are whispers creeping out seeking to be heard every time he and I are in the same room. I have been told countless times he and I would be the cutes pair, and frankly I couldn't agree more.

Austin had always had a way with me. He makes me laugh and even cry at times, but not to his knowledge. It's a difficult position to play. The role of a younger sister in love with her older sister's boyfriend. You see it in movies all the time, but it's completely different when you are living it. If I were seventeen years old (like Belle) I might bat my eyelashes and flip my hair to get Austin's attention, but being twenty three years of age makes a large difference.

I get by with my music. I haven't gotten noticed or and gotten a contract yet. I don't even sing my own songs. I write my own songs, but I just can't seem to share them. It's not I'm scared of the people, oh no singing in front of people is just fine. It's the fact that my real emotion went into the lyrics, and if I sang them every one would know how I felt on the inside. Despite what they see on the outside.

Right now I'm at a bar (don't worry I'm not here to drink). I'm here to sing, like I do every Tuesday night. I normally pick songs that set my mood for the day. I reflected back on the day. What had I felt? Well I felt like the air had been taken from my lungs when Austin laughed at my joke, and when his finger grazed mine while handing me the sugar babies today at the park.

Carrie had invited me with her and Austin to meet Austin's brother Lucas. But Lucas never showed up. It didn't bother me that he didn't show. I was sick and tired of people trying to set me up on dates. It wasn't a half bad day I did get to spend the majority of it with Austin.

Suddenly the whole room started chanting "Sami, Sami, Sami, Sami!" Apparently it was my turn to get up there. I had not even a clue of what to sing yet. Every one that visited this bar regularly knew me. Every one from the drunken idiots to the bar tender. "Sami, Sami, Sami, Sami!" The chants seemed to grow louder as I stood up off the bar stool.

I made my way threw all the booths and smoke. As I took the first step up toward the one and a half foot high stage my mind was racing. What was I going to sing? I kept my pace at slow racking my brain for some sort of song. Don't you hate that? When you need to remember something really bad but it seems the harder you think the less you remember? I grabbed the microphone and stood there looking like a fool.

"Sami what is the song tonight" Glenda whispers, Glenda is the more or less DJ any song you want she's got it.

I looked at the frizzy red hair on top of Glenda's head still trying to think.

"Well what's it ganna be hunny?" She asks in a hushed tone.

"Umm…" Great what was the last song I heard today? "Umm…" Glenda's eyes looked as if they could see right threw me and she knew something was wrong. Beads of sweat began to form on my temple. "Umm…"

"I'll just put one on for ya" She says with a wink and walks away. She takes a few seconds before music fills the speakers. I instantly recognized the song. It was a great choice for today. I winked at Glenda and mouthed thank you. Then I finally began to sing.

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And the light's always red in the rear-view  
Desperately close to a coffin of hope  
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love _

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus  
'Cuz love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love  
I'm just falling to pieces  
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love _

There is a break in the lyrics right here giving me a moment to regain my composure. I can see every one's faces beaming up at me. It gave me great pleasure to know they really enjoyed my voice.

_Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love  
all my resistance will never be distance enough_

_Hmmmmmm_

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And it's finally quiet in my head  
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed  
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_

The song ended and I was about to step down when more chanting came about. "Sing another one!" A young man shouted "Yeah sing another one!" Shouted the bar tender as I gave him a look like 'Shut up!' I moved my mouth closer to the mike.

"Sorry every one not tonight" The whole room made sort of an aww sound. "I promise next Tuesday I'll sing two songs" I said with a bow and stepped off the stage. Rushing out the door, I still had a job to tend to tonight.

"You're late!" came a voice from behind the counter as I rushed in the bell on the door jingling.

"I know I'm sorry I just…" I began

"Sami I don't need to hear your excuses just tell me it wont happen again" He cut me off.

"No Steve it won't happen again" I sigh and pull my apron over my head. It wasn't like there were any costumers at this time of night. Who goes to corner book store at nine o'clock at night? I began taking the new books out of there boxes and shelving them.

Steve could be a real pain in the rear at times. I understand he is just doing his job, but he could try to be a little more understanding. He was probably the only person who had no desire to hear me sing. Steve is a very quiet man he is very kept to him self.

The door jingled which meant a customer had arrived. I looked up from my small cart of books to see Belle walking toward me. She had on a pink and white shirt and a pair of pink shorts, and topped it off with white sneakers.

"Well if you aren't a walking bottle of Pepto-Bismol…"

"Man its hot out there" Belle whined as if she hadn't heard my smart remark. Taking a seat at a near by couch she looked up at me.

"What is it Belle?" I sigh "I know that look, what do you want?"

"I can't just come visit my sister?"

"Belle" I giver that skeptical look

"Well I'm graduating next month and as part of ASB I'm supposed to find some one to sing at graduation…"

"Belle you know I'm terrible at singing the national anthem" I cut her off

"First of all you sing it very well and second of all you wouldn't be singing the national anthem some one else is singing that"

"Well what do you need another song for isn't one enough?"

"Sami please?" She begs giving me her pout look.

"Well don't think I'm singing at your birthday party" I roll my eyes

"So you'll do it!" She says in a high pitched tone.

"If it means that much to you" I say calmly turning back to my books.

"Oh thank you Sami!" Belle screams hugging me.

"Hey this isn't social hour!" Steve calls from behind the counter again.

"I'm sorry Steve I just had to ask my sist…."

"I don't need an explanation!" He snapped "But if you're not going to buy anything please find your way to the door!" Belle glared at him and then proceeded to walk over to the coffee machine. Pouring herself a plastic cup full and loading it with sugar.

"Hear I'm buying something" She sneered placing money on the counter and walking out the door. I swear I saw her pour the whole cup into the plants outside before she left. Well I had a gig I guess you could call it. It was still a month away, but I could never decline the request of my singing. Even though I would never admit that to Belle.

Belle never did tell me as to what I was to sing at her graduation. If it wasn't the anthem what could it possibly be? They only sang the anthem at my graduation. _Well you are six years older _I reminded myself.

Steve had gone home early tonight. Which I thought it better that I got to close the shop alone. I walked over to the radio and flipped it on. I normally would sing to the music but tonight I just wanted to listen.

_I don't like to be alone in the night  
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right  
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoe  
But I do love you, but I do love you  
I don't like to see the sky painted gray  
And I don't like when nothing's going my way  
And I don't like to be the one with the blues  
But I do love you, but I do love you_

Another reason that accrued to me why I couldn't sing this song. I've never even heard it. It was rare that I would hear a song on the radio that I didn't know.

_Love everything about the way you're loving me  
The way you lay your head  
Upon my shoulder when you sleep  
And I love to kiss you in the rain  
I love everything you do, oh I do  
I don't like to turn the radio on  
Just to find I missed my favorite song  
And I don't like to be the last with the news  
But I do love you, but I do love you _

Suddenly the door jingled again. With out even turning around I yelled. "Were closed!"

"I'm sorry Sa…." I spun around and was embarrass to find Austin was standing in the middle of the book store.

"Oh Austin I'm sorry I thought it was some one else" I cut him off.

"I was just in the area and decided to stop by see if you needed a ride home." He says with a smile. _Oh that smile_! I so badly wanted to accept his invite but I knew very well that my own car was just outside.

"Thanks, but I have my car outside" I say turning around and shelving the last book. It wasn't until then that I noticed the radio was still on.

_Love everything about the way you're loving me  
The way you lay your head  
Upon my shoulder when you sleep  
And I love to kiss you in the rain  
I love everything you do, oh I do  
And I don't like to be alone in the night  
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right  
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes  
But I do love you but I do love you  
But I do love you but I do love you _

I quickly rushed over to turn it off.

"Well I guess I'll get going then Carrie is out in the car" he says turning away from me "Catch ya later"

"Bye" the bell jingled again and he was gone. If Carrie was in the car why hadn't she come in to say hi? Maybe she was just tired. It was most likely her that told Austin to stop by and ask if I needed a ride.

I quickly got out my keys and began locking up the shop. Then it was out to my car and home safe and sound in my bed. I never knew how comfortable my bed truly was. I instantly fell asleep my head clouding over with sweet dreams.

_A/N: Well I hope you liked Chapter one I'm putting up chapter two as well and three is getting worked on tonight. So please R/R_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Days of Our Lives characters or the song I'm Just a Girl by: No Doubt. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Two**

The following day at work wasn't much better then the last. With the morning rush, and Steve constantly barking orders at me, just because he was in the air force he thinks he can yell things at me.

Last night I dreamt about Belle. I don't remember much of the dream just that Belle and I were chatting over coffee and bagels as she told me Austin proposed to Carrie. It was lucky it was only a dream, more like a nightmare if you ask me.

"Sami!" Steve barked "Where are those Daniel Steel novels!"

"Back room third row second shelf!" I replied hotly turning around as to roll my eyes with out him seeing me.

If it weren't for me this place would be out of business. I'm the one who keeps tabs on the back room and I do all the shelving. All Steve does is sit behind the counter taking people's money his books! I can't believe Steve even has the audacity to yell at me when I do all the work.

The morning rush seemed to finally calm down at half past ten. Steve sat behind the counter reading some fantasy book. I continued shelving books. It seemed that I was never finished shelving books every time I finished a load another few boxes of them would arrive.

As I was shelving books I came across a book about dreams. I looked around there were no costumers and Steve was to into the book he was reading. Opening up the book I took a seat on my now empty book cart. Maybe I could find something in here and learn more about what that dream with Belle meant.

"Now, about 1000 years later, many dream interpretation books especially those by Jungian analysts are _still_ using these alchemy ideas to understand the symbolism in dreams. There is no science here; there is a lot of mystical, religious fantasy. Examples: The _black_ world's symbols--death, wounds, violence, confusion, chaos, black cats, witches, sewers, sinister figures, and "disgusting" physical abuse, etc."

"So you think your dream meant something?" Belle rolled her eyes.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you" I slap my hand down on the dream book that I decided to purchase "Belle why would I dream about you and I eating Bagels and talking about Carrie and Austin?" now it's my turn to roll my eyes

"I'm sure a lot of people dream about these things" Belle protested as she took a drink of her coke.

"Not me Belle…let me finish now listen" I paused for a moment looking for the spot I had left off on. "The _white_ world's symbols--going crazy, shimmering surfaces, falling, snakes, night animals, street people, being drunk, healing the sick, taking drugs, lying down, being chased, voyeurism, pregnancy, etc. The _red_ world's symbols--a bright light, new growth, keen-sighted animals, computers, schools, scientists, food, exercise, powerful people, male and female or similarly shaped objects, romance, making love, etc. You can train yourself to think in these terms; there is no proof but perhaps the above objects and acts are associated with your underlying emotions of bleak sadness (black), scary confusion (white), and productive joy (red)."

"Sami I don't think your dream falls under any of those" Belle chuckled

"Well then listen to this" I said flipping to the back of the profusely large book to the key terms "To see or eat a bagel in your dream, suggests that there is key element missing from your life. You are not completely whole." I paused and looked up at Belle who was looking at me shocked.

"So you have an empty space? Sami is there something wrong?" Belle looked worried

"Wait before questions let me read to you what it says about wedding rings…To see a wedding ring on another's hand, signifies your unfaithfulness, which may lead to illicit behavior."

"But Sami you didn't see a wedding ring" Belle complains

"I know that, but a ring is related to a proposal" I say annoyed. Sometimes I feel things just go into one of her ears and come out the other.

"Sami this is silly a dream is just a dream they don't mean anything." Belle snaps getting up from her plush chair in 'The Coffee House'

"Well I thought you of all people would listen to me and try to understand" I say irritably

"Sami I am listening to you and you're making no sense!"

"I'm making plenty of sense!" I snap as the corners of Belle's mouth go up in a smirk. "What?" I ask

"You like Austin" She says still smirking

"I do not! Belle he is Carrie's boyfriend that's just wrong!" I say throwing my hands up in frustration.

"Sami and Austin sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes love then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage" Belle started to sing. I held my hand up in protest hoping she would stop, and as if on queue Carrie walked up and said.

"Who is sitting in a tree?" Carrie looked as if she were about to laugh

"No one!" I said jumping up and looking at Belle with the 'Shut up' look I'm ever so good at.

"Well as long as you two are here wanna join us" Carrie smiled

"Us?" Belle asked

"Austin and I" She replied as Belle looked over at me. I could tell she was holding in a laugh.

"Sure why not" I said following Carrie to her table where Austin was already seated drinking a cup of coffee. I took my seat between Belle and Carrie staying as far from Austin as I could. Just so Belle would forget about her theory.

"So how's the book store going?" Carrie asked me

"Fine, just fine" I say picking up a menu

"Is something wrong Sami? You don't sound very happy?"

"I'm just not feeling well that's all" I said as Carrie pressed the back of her hand to my forehead.

"Well you do feel warm" She noted

"Maybe you should go home, get some rest" Belle added

"Actually that sounds like a good idea" I replied even though I felt just fine. Truth be told I really just wanted to go home and ponder more on this dream stuff.

"That's too bad Lucas was supposed to meet us here, you could meet him" Carrie says looking up at me as I stand up ready to leave.

"Sorry Carrie maybe another time" I say pushing my chair in and walking away from the table. I hoped Austin was watching me walk away. I hoped it was killing him inside to see me go.

"Sami wait!" Called a voice from behind. I spun around on my heels to come face to face with Austin.

"What?" I say breathlessly

"Well there is going to be dinner at your mom's house tonight and I was just wondering if you were going to come" he smiled

"Sure what time?"

"Sixish" he said crinkling his nose

"Ok I'll be there I'll go pop a few aspirins and get some rest so I can be there" I smile as I turn back around and walk out the door. Did Austin want me to be there for a reason? Maybe he was going to admit his undying love for me in front of the whole family. I smiled at the idea. I would defiantly be at the dinner tonight.

Getting into my car I turn the radio on full blast. I was already excited for dinner, I just wanted to feel free and alive.

_Take this pink ribbon off my eyes  
I'm exposed  
And it's no big surprise  
Don't you think I know  
Exactly where I stand  
This world is forcing me  
To hold your hand  
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me  
Don't let me out of your sight  
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite  
So don't let me have any rights_

I am now singing at the top of my lungs. I don't think any one could here me over the loud music anyway. I don't care if any one sees me and I wouldn't care if any one heard.

_Oh...I've had it up to here!  
The moment that I step outside  
So many reasons  
For me to run and hide  
I can't do the little things I hold so dear  
'Cause it's all those little things  
That I fear _

'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night I'm just a girl,  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes

Did I mention how much No doubt freaking rock! I could listen to them all day over and over. That Gwen sure knows her music!

_I'm just a girl,  
Take a good look at me  
Just your typical prototype_

Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear?  
I'm just a girl  
I'm just a girl in the world...   
That's all that you'll let me be!  
I'm just a girl, living in captivity  
your rule of thumb  
makes me worry some

I'm at a stop light and the people in the car next me a starring, but I don't care. I continue banging my head and rocking out. I'm happy and if any one takes that away from me they are ganna get it.

_I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?  
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb  
I'm just a girl, my apologies  
What I've become is so burdensome  
I'm just a girl, lucky me  
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison_

Oh...I've had it up to!  
Oh...I've had it up to!  
Oh...I've had it up to here!

The song was coming to a close just as I pulled up to my apartment building. It wasn't much, but it was home. I was defiantly not going to be reading about my dreams right now. Oh no I needed to find something nice to wear. If Austin was going to finally say he loved me I wanted to look extra special.

After four hours of prepping and primping I finally was ready. I wore a black shirt that fell off the shoulder on one side and a pair of jeans. I know I know it sounds way too casual, but if you saw how my hair and makeup was done you would think differently.

It was time to go and I hopped in my car and raced over to my mom's I was already going to be late and hitting all red lights didn't help much. After much fighting with the traffic of Salem I made it to the house. Checking myself one last time in the mirror I got out of the car and walked to the front door.

I could hear talking inside. _They must have started eating_ I thought quietly as I pulled out a spare key and opened the door.

"Hey look who finally decided to grace us with her presents" My mother's cheery voice said from the table where every one was seated.

"Hey" I waved to the whole table.

"Come sit" Cried Belle who patted the seat next to her "Austin was just about to say something" Belle said as I took my seat next to her.

I was bubbling with excitement. This was it the moment I had been waiting for. He was finally going to tell every one that he loved me and then we would run away to Paris together and live happily ever after.

"Well as I was saying" Austin stood up. I was trying to control myself from squirming in my seat." I asked Carrie to marry me and she has accepted" Austin finished holding up Carries hand which now held a 2kt diamond ring.

My smile faded. My stomach turned, but not with excitement. Austin and Carrie **were** getting married. It seemed that my dream had become reality…

**A/N: If you want to know where I found all of the stuff on dreams here are the links thanks. Please R/R**

**Links: ****http/ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Days of Our Lives characters or the songs He loves you not and How could this happen to me by: Simple Plan. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers.**

**Chapter Three**

The remainder of dinner didn't go to well for me. I couldn't look sad, for if I did Belle would bring up her silly hypothesis of Austin and I. But I didn't want to look happy when I wasn't. I spent my time at the dinner table pushing my food from side to side on my plate.

"So how's the book store going?" My mother asked from across the table. This is now the second time I have been asked this question in one day.

"Well despite Steve barking at me every two minuets its fine" I say annoyed. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. I just want to go home and mope. I know that sounds silly, but I only speak the truth.

"Steve is a very knowable man you could learn a lot from him" My mother protests

"Mom I really don't want to talk about it" I say trying to sound calm. I do not want to talk I want to go home!

"Sami is everything alright" My mother looks worried. I guess I didn't sound calm enough

"I'm fine mother I just…still feel sick from earlier" I lie but maybe she will tell me to go home. I really truly am a home body.

"Do you want some Tylenol?" She offers

"No mom I'll be fine" I say holding up my hand in objection. I just needed to sing right now. Sing a really sad song, one that would capture my feelings for the moment. "I'm ganna go get some fresh air" I said getting up from the table and sneaking around the couch where everyone else was seated.

I was on a mission. I stepped outside and walked to my car. Getting inside of it I turned it on and turned on the stereo. Flipping threw the radio dials I could here lots of songs. But all threw fuzz "Go crazy oh…fuzzzzz…Do you believe in love…fuzzz…It's like that yall….fuzzz" was all that could be heard. Finally a song came into clear.

_Pulling petals off a flower trying to get your way.  
Keep pulling til' it says what you want it to say.  
Girl you can pick a field full of daisies,  
but he'd still be my baby.  
I know you can hardly wait til I'm away from him.  
Instinctively, I know what you're thinking,   
you'll be giving him an open invitation,  
but my baby won't be taken in. _

_You can pout your cherry lips,  
Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss.  
You can flirt your pretty eyes,  
He ain't got his hands tied._

This song always reminded me of Carrie and Austin. I could just picture Carrie singing this to me in front of half of Salem if she found out I was in love with Austin.

_No chains to unlock,  
So free to do what he wants.  
He's into what he's got.  
He loves me, he loves you not.  
No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you.  
He's into what he's got  
He loves me, he loves you not._

A tear trickled down my cheek. Why is this happening to me? Why is Austin in love with Carrie? Can't he see? Of coarse not he is blinded by love with Carrie. Who would ever want a piece of trash like me? The song ended as the next one faded in.

_I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight _

Fresh tears came to my eyes as I listened to the words of the song. I began to sing along with the lyrics.

_And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain_

How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me

How could this happen to me? I question myself as if the song had told me too.

_Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again_

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't

Suddenly it was like I was on a venture to my past, as I saw all the things I had done wrong in my life. All of the people I had wronged. It was as if I were dieing and my life was flashing before me. Maybe I am just a terrible person. I knew one thing was for sure there was no one else. No one else I would ever love as much as Austin.

_How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me _

_I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

The song ended and my body was shaking with uncontrollable sobs.

"Miss are you alright?" Some one is tapping on my window. I am completely humiliated now. Some one has seen me in this state. I quickly roll down my window.

"I'm fine" I say wiping the tears from my face.

"Are you sure you look awful"

"Thank you" I say sarcastically "Run along why don't you" I say stepping out of my automobile and slamming the car door behind me.

"I didn't mean that in disrespect I just…"

"Look save it buddy I'm in no mood" I say putting my hand up to his face. I begin walking up to the door of the house again. The annoying jerk begins to follow me. "Are some kind of creepy stalker I told you just go leave me alone!" I am yelling at him now

"It just so happens I was invited to this house" He shoots back

"I couldn't imagine why I mean look at you your dressed for a three year olds birthday party" I said looking him up and down. He had on a very nice suite and he looked alright until you look at his feet anyway. He had on clown shoes. Great big clown shoes with red poke-dots and great big yellow puff balls on the top.

"For your information I was helping out the children's center at the Salem hospital" He snapped

"Well even with out the shoes you could still pass to live in the circus" I chuckle

"I'm sure they could put you in a freak act!" the jerk says crossing his arms over his chest

Suddenly the front door opens it's Carrie.

"Is everything ok out here we can all here you in the house" Carrie says as my cheeks redden

"Everything is fine" I say walking in side pushing my way past her. The annoying jerk from outside follows me in.

"LUCAS!" Austin shouts

"Hey" Lucas looks a little embarrassed now that all the attention is on him

"I'm glad you made it" Austin says his face crinkled as he saw Lucas's shoes

"Anything for my big bro" Lucas lets out a nervous laugh. Wait a minuet big bro? This idiot is the guy Carrie and Austin were trying to hook me up with!

"Nice shoes" Twitty Belle adds

"Yeah…I was working late at the Hospital" Lucas cocked his head to the side

"All kids have to do is look at your face and they would laugh" I snap

"Sami!" Carrie glairs at me

"I'm sorry Carrie, but don't you have a few wedding plans to be worrying about?" Uh oh the bitch in me is coming out to play.

"Sami what has gotten into you?" Carrie hisses crabbing my arm and pulling me into the kitchen

"I'm sorry Carrie I don't know what has gotten into me" I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes

"Oh you big baby! You're just upset because I'm in the spot light for once and your not!" Carrie snaps.

"Excuse me miss but who died and made you Queen!" my tone raises another level.

"Sami stop being so childish!"

"Childish…I'm being childish" I have to laugh at her "Who was it that got upset when Austin called me instead of you, and who cried when Austin went with me to the mall!"

"Sami I was eighteen then. That's ancient history!" Carrie screamed

"Carrie why don't you do every one a favor and shut the HELL UP!" I yelled and then I marched right out the kitchen door. I don't need this right now! Damn Carrie! I grabbed my purse and walked out the front door not saying a word to anyone.

"Sami!" Oh god it's Lucas what in the hell does he want...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Days of Our Lives or the song My Immortal by: Evanescence or the song I Want You by: Savage Garden. I do how ever own the poem 'The Bottom'. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Four**

Have you ever felt like you needed to get away and fast because you knew if you didn't there would be some hurtful words said? Well if you have then you know exactly how I feel right now. Lucas is still calling my name, but just keep on walking. Well walking isn't really the best word more like a woman on a power trip.

I quickly get into my car and lock the doors just before Lucas walks up to my car. There is no stopping my now. I start up the car and pull away my tiers screeching on the street below.

What a day, what a week, what a year! All of this time wasted! On what you ask, Austin of course! All of this time I thought he was hiding secret feelings for me, but really he was going home every night to Carrie. I'm stupid so stupid! How could I ever think he would want me? No one wants damaged goods.

I felt as if I had left my stomach back on E street. My whole body was shaking. I wouldn't cry not here not now. _You are a strong woman Sami don't let a man break you. _I keep repeating this over and over in my head. The tears are yearning to escape my eyes, but I refuse to let them.

I needed to go somewhere, where I could just be myself. A place where I could get away from the world. _I know just the place_ I thought to myself as I pushed the gas petal a little harder. Zipping off down the street.

I walked into the same smoke filled room that I went to every Tuesday. Today how ever wasn't Tuesday, but some how I felt like I needed to be here. I needed to feel free, and this was a place where I felt jus that.

"Hey Sami starting early this week?" The bar tender smiles "Can I get you a drink?" He smirks there is a funny little story behind this one. You see every time I walk into this bar 'Trent' always asks me if I want a drink. Even though he knows very well I don't drink.

"Yes actually I would" I say taking a seat at the bar. Trent has a look on his face as if he had just been slapped.

"Are you serious?" Trent's left eyebrow is askew

"Trent just give me a drink…I don't care what anything to make it stop" I say as I tilt my head to look at the bar counter.

"Stop what?"

"Trent just give me a damn drink!" I say hitting my hand on the counter. I really didn't want to go telling a bar tender, whom I barely know all my sob stories.

"Coming right up" He says turning around to the back counter, which contained all the mixes, blenders, and any kind of beer you could think of.

_What am I doing? What in the HELL am I doing _I think to myself as I stand up off the bar stool. I didn't need drinks to cure me. No the only thing that would help me now would be my music and Austin of course. _Well you've got one of them _I remind myself as I step up to the oh so familiar platform.

I knew exactly what I wanted to sing. I hoped singing it wouldn't make me cry. The light shines down on me as I look out and see Trent looking confused with a drink in his hand.

"So what's it ganna be today doll?" Glenda smiles up at me.

"My Immortal" I told her

"You've got it" She said as she walked away to the DJ table. The song came pouring into the room as I began to sing.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

I wouldn't cry, no not here in front of hundreds of people. My eyes began to fog over. I wouldn't cry not here.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

The song had a pause in the middle. I in hailed a few deep breathes and repeated over and over in my head. _You are a strong woman do not let a man break you…you are a strong woman do not let a man break you…_I took in one last deep breath and began to sing again.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Time couldn't sane me even if it hit me between the eyes. Nothing could save me now. It looked as if the wall was going to be built back up.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

The tears are still trying to fight there way out. I can feel them and I can no longer hold them back. One single tear slides down my cheek.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

The song ended I had planned on singing two at least, while I was here. But as the sobs over took my body I rushed off the platform and grabbed my purse from the bar. I had to get out of here. I was sure that after I left the room would be full of whispers about me.

The tears kept falling. I knew the Carrie Austin thing would sink in eventually, But I thought I could hold it until I got home.

Once I was in my car my body shook with uncontrollable sobs. There was no where I could go and no one I could turn to. I didn't have any friends, so it wasn't as if I could show up at there door and cry on some one who doesn't exist.

A small smile passed my lips through my tears at the remembrance of an old memory. It was the memory of my senor prom. Austin had taken me, because I had no date and because Carrie had insisted. My mind thought back on it as I continued to cry.

_Anytime I need to see your face  
I just close my eyes  
And I am taken to a place where  
Your crystal mind and  
Magenta feelings take up shelter  
In the base of my spine  
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola_

_His Hand in mine as he placed his other hand on the small of my back. Was this love I was feeling? Austin had always had something about him I couldn't resist. We continued to sway as I rested my head on his shoulder. I wanted to hold onto the moment forever. _

_I don't need to try and explain  
I just hold on tight  
And if it happens again I might move  
So slightly  
To the arms and the lips and the face  
Of the human cannonball  
That I need to I want to_

Come stand a little bit closer  
Breath in and get a bit higher  
You'll never know what hit you  
When I get to you

_I breathed in his scent and the scenery around us. I was making a memory to have for years to come. I would never forget this night. _

_Ooh I want you  
I don't know if I need you  
But ooh I'd die to find out  
Ooh I want you  
I don't know if I need you  
But ooh I'd die to find out_

I'm the kind of person who endorses  
A deep commitment  
Getting comfy getting perfect  
Is what I live for  
But a look then a smell of perfume  
It's like I'm down on the floor  
And I don't know what I'm in for

Conversation has a time and place  
In the interaction of a lover and  
A mate  
But the time of talking  
Using symbols using words  
Can be likened to a deep sea diver  
Who is swimming with a raincoat

_I wanted to be close to him so many times, but it seemed every time I tried Carrie had come between us. I was finally alone with him. This was perfect I told myself. Nothing and no one could ruin this moment. _

_I don't need to try and explain  
I just hold on tight  
And if it happens again I might move  
So slightly  
To the arms and the lips and the face  
Of the human cannonball  
That I need to I want to_

_Ooh I want you  
I don't know if I need you  
But ooh I'd die to find out  
Ooh I want you  
I don't know if I need you  
But ooh I'd die to find out_

_The song was over and our bodies drifted apart. Austin did something amazing right then and there. It nearly took my breath away. Austin took my hand in his once more only this time he bent down and kissed it. I was on top of the world at that moment. Tingles ran through my body _

The memory faded away in my mind. It was one of my favorites. That night I ran home to write in my journal. I was so naïve then. A few years can change people in big ways. I look at my life in a completely different way now.

The tears had subsided but my body still shook with after shock. I reached for my keys and turned on the car. I had to get home and think about today. It was the only thing that would get me through this ruff time.

I opened the book that held my deepest and most secretive poems. I had expressed so many emotions in this book. I needed to add a new one. I grabbed the nearest pin and began.

_**The Bottom**_

_Just when I thought_

_I'd reached the bottom_

_You gave me your hand_

_You saved me from myself._

_You helped me up only to push_

_Me back down._

_I can still see your eyes _

_They seem to be laughing at me. _

I made sure to push really hard as I marked the last period on the sentence. The jerk! He thinks he can make a fool of Sami Brady! Well he is wrong. I will get through this my heart is in pieces now but I'll make sure to pick up every last part. I will not let Austin hurt me any more and toy with my emotions.

I jumped up from the bed and began grabbing everything in sight that reminded him of me. The corsage from the prom. His stupid Elton John CD, and not to forget his sweat shirt that he left in my car. I threw every last item that was his or remotely reminded me of him into a box.

I guess I felt like if I had all of his things in this box I was getting rid of him. I grabbed the roll of tape and began wrapping and wrapping it around the now lidded box. He would never escape the box, and he can't hurt me any more.

I placed the box on the top shelf in my closet. It would eventually collect dust and be forgotten about. I was ridding him of my life. He would still be there with Carrie every day, but I was kicking him out of my mind. I had to stop the pain.

I should have known I couldn't rid Austin of my life just like that. In less then an hour I had pulled the box back down from the shelf and began rummaging threw it remembering each and everything.

Why is this so hard for me? It wasn't like he and I ever dated. From what I can remember he had always liked Carrie.

Thinking about Carrie led me to remember how rude I was to her. And to Luke or what ever his name was. Man I bet that guy thinks I'm a bitch on wheels. They say 70 of first impressions go bad. At least I wasn't the only one, I'm sure many people insult some one on there first meeting.

I shook my head trying to get the thoughts out of my head. But I couldn't my mind kept asking questions. Why did Luke or Landon or what ever his name is run after me? What did he want to say that was so important?

I finally managed to get all thoughts off my mind and concentrate on Austin. I knew I would see him tomorrow when I went to apologize to Carrie. I was rude to her and to Austin's brother so I guess I owed Austin an apology too.

I didn't want to think any more. I just wanted to shut the world out and fall into complete darkness. I sat on my bed and tried to clear my mind by repeating the word _quite _over and over again. I was finally at peace as my mind had cleared only holding the word _quiet…quite…quite_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days or the songs All I Have To Do Is Dream by: The Evrely Brothers and Loosing My Grip by: Avril Leaven **

**Chapter Five**

The next few days seemed to move in slow motion. I hadn't been into work for two days, and money doesn't exactly grow on trees around here. My phone has rang a hundred times today, but I could care less. I think some time around seven this morning some one tried to pay me a visit. I swear I heard a knock on the door then.

It didn't matter I didn't want to see any one. It was Tuesday again, and the only thing I would be going out of my apartment for would be to hit the bar. It was already half past six, and I wasn't even dressed. My hair was dirty and my room was full of ice cream bowls and old romance movies.

I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I had the most awful dream last night. I dreamt that Austin and Carrie were getting married, but I wasn't at the wedding it was like I was watching it from above or something. But then all of the sudden I was in Carrie's place and marring Austin. That part was good except Austin turned to me and said 'You're not Carrie!' and then his eyes turned red.

Austin turned into the devil with the horns and all, and started chasing me out of the chapel. I woke up out of breath and screaming.

Swinging my legs over the bed and standing up the wooden floor squeaking below me. I walked over to my small book shelf and pulled out my dream interpretation book. I flipped to the back of the book to the dream dictionary and looked up Devil.

"_To see the devil in your dream signifies negative aspects of yourself. It may also indicate feelings of guilt that you have been harboring. It is time to release these feelings. Alternatively, the devil may represent intelligence, cunningness, deception, and cleverness." _I read quietly to myself. But there was more so I went on "_To dream that the devil talks to you, signifies that you will find some temptations hard to resist even though you know it is not in your best interest." _

Well I guess I have only been looking at the negative side of things these past two days, and maybe I should just let it go. But it's so hard to move on. Austin has been part of my life for so long. I set the book back down and flipped to wedding.

"_To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence." _

Well I guess I am and always will be alone and there for have to be independent. I closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. I needed to get ready to go out.

One shower later I felt refreshed. It's to bad showers can't wash away pain as well as dirt. Wouldn't that be nice? 'Oh I hurt let me hop in the shower.' After putting on a top and some jeans I was applying my makeup. I didn't feel like getting too dolled up so I went for the natural look.

After pulling my hair up into a pony tail and splashing a little bit of perfume on I was ready to go. I grabbed my keys and purse and was walking to the front door when a knock came from it. _Who would want to see me? _I thought to myself as I walked to the door and yanked it open.

"Carrie?" I said in a confused tone "What are you doing here?"

"Well you kinda left dinner in a bad mood the other day, and I sorta went to your work and Steve said you hadn't been in for a few days. And I thought you could use a little pick me up" She said holding up a container of coffee ice cream my favorite.

Ok can we say remorse? Man I feel bad about dinner now.

"Well come on it" I say forgetting about the bar.

"Oh and you left this at moms. Lucas said he tried to run after you, but you were gone" Carrie said handing me my coat.

"Oh thank you" I say taking it and placing it on my coat hanger. "How's about that ice cream" I say taking a seat at the small kitchen table. Carrie proceeded to open the ice cream container and pull out two spoons from my kitchen cabinet. She took her seat next to my and hander me a spoon.

"So are you alright. I mean your not working" Carrie said shoving a profusely large spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"I'm fine I just needed a break I've been working hard" I pause for a second "Carrie I'm really sorry about how I treated you at dinner"

"That's ok…actually I came over to ask you something" Carrie stops to take another bite.

"What?" I say digging my spoon into the rock hard ice cream.

"Well I was wondering if you would be my maid of honor." Carrie looks at me hopefully

"Well it's not that I don't want to, but wouldn't you rather have Belle?" I say trying to cover my shock up. Not only is she marring the man I love, but she wants me in the wedding!

"Belle is going to be my other maid of honor I want you both in the wedding. Please Sami" Carrie droops her lower lip down to pout.

"Oh alright" I say shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.

"Thanks Sami" Carrie smiles

Carrie hadn't left til almost seven o'clock. I grabbed my keys and purse and rushed out the door. I was going to sit at home all night and mope, but I realized I needed to get out. I hadn't seen sun light in almost three days, and the night air felt good.

I hoped into my car and hightailed it to 'The Drunken Clover' where I sang every Tuesday night.

I entered the same smoke filled room, and felt at home. I loved this bar I don't know what I would do with out it. I remember the first time I sang here. It was on my twenty first birthday and my friends made me get up and sing karaoke.

"_Come on Sami get up there" Amanda demanded_

"_Yeah it's not every day you turn 21" The bar tender commented_

"_Amanda I don't know, I'm not a very good singer" I said with nervous laugh_

"_Sami you need to let go of your tenth birthday party" Amanda raised her eye brows_

"_Hey if some one had thrown there cake at you after singing you would be traumatized too!" I protested_

"_Come on Sami please…please…" _

"_Alright ALRIGHT!" I say stomping off toward the platform _

"_You go girl!" Amanda called _

_I stepped up on the platform as a redheaded woman approached me. _

"_So what'll it be doll?" She asked_

"_How about all I have to do is dream by the Evrely Brothers" _

"_You've got it" the woman walked off and seconds later the music entered the room. _

_Dream, dream dream dream, dream, dream dream dream_

When I want you in my arms,  
When I want you and all your charms  
Whenever I want you, all I have to do, is  
Dream, dream dream dream

_Every one in the room was looking up at me. No one was whispering to there friends. All eyes were on me. Amanda's mouth was open in shock._

When I feel blue in the night,  
And I need you to hold me tight  
Whenever I want you, all I have to do, is  
Dream, dream dream dream

I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine,  
Any time, night or day  
Only trouble is, gee wiz,  
I'm dreamin' my life away  


_I smiled and really began getting into the song. Walking across the stage and doing a few twirls. This was the most exhilarating thing I had ever done in my life. _

_I need you so that I could die,  
I love you so, and that is why  
Whenever I want you, all I have to do, is  
Dream, dream dream dream, dream_

I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine,  
Any time, night or day  
Only trouble is, gee wiz, I  
'm dreamin' my life away

I need you so that I could die,  
I love you so, and that is why  
Whenever I want you, all I have to do, is  
Dream, dream dream dream 

_The song came to an end. Amanda started clapping, and every one else followed. The whole room was full of cheering. I moved back to the mic and said._

"_Um thank you" then I stepped down and ran to Amanda. That day I realized I wanted to sing. _

Man I miss Amanda. She moved to New York over a year ago. I remember going home that night and racking my brain trying to write my own songs.

"Hey Sami!" Trent called from the bar "I was starting to think you weren't coming. A lot of people have been asking for you"

"Thanks Trent" I smile "Let me just figure out a song and I'll get up there" I say taking a seat at the bar. What would I sing tonight? Well I wanted something good, and to try and set my mood with it. I always tried to pick a song on my mood.

I finally had it as I walked up to Glenda, and told her.

"Alright doll now getup there and sing!" She said giving me a wink.

"Thanks Glenda" I say walking up to the platform and grabbing the mic. The music filled the speakers as I began to sing.

_Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby  
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real  
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you  
Why'd you turn away?  
Here's what I have to say  
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there  
Burning with a lost stare  
That's when I decided _

This was defiantly a great choice for tonight's song. It fit Austin and mine's relation ship to a tee.

_Why should I care   
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared  
I was so alone  
You, you need to listen  
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip  
And I'm in this thing alone_

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place  
When you turn around can you recognize my face  
You used to love me, you used to hug me  
But that wasn't the case  
Everything wasn't okay  
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there  
Burning with a lost stare  
That's when I decided 

Ok so maybe the song was wrong about the used to love me thing, but the rest of it was correct. I never realized how much this song fit our relationship.

_Why should I care   
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared  
I was so alone  
You, you need to listen  
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip  
And I'm in this thing alone_

_Crying out loud  
I'm crying out loud  
Crying out loud  
I'm crying out loud_

Open your eyes  
Open up wide  
Why should I care  
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared  
I was so alone

I am alone…all alone. _HEY! What about being a strong woman! _My mind reminds me. Your right head I'm a strong woman I say back to it. _And your not alone you've got me! _I know head I know.

_Why should I care   
'Cuz you weren't there when I was there  
I was so alone  
Why should I care  
If you don't care then I don't care  
We're not going anywhere_

Why should I care  
'Cuz you weren't there when I was there  
I was so alone  
Why should I care  
If you don't care then I don't care

The song ended, and suddenly I here clapping. No one ever claps for me any more. I look out into the audience. It seems no one is clapping.

"Yeah go Sami!" I here a shout. The voice sounds so familiar. I look out into the audience once more. There was only one person clapping. My stomach dropped what was he doing here?

"Luke?" I whisper to myself _it's Lucas! _My head shouts…


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Days Of Our Lives characters or the songs Don't you by: Shania Twain and Break My Heart By: Hilary Duff. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Six**

I'm walking down off of the platform. I wanted to sing another song, but the fact that 'Lucas' was here made it difficult. Lucas is walking toward me now _Oh god!_ My head is aggravated. He is walking closer, and closer he is nearly to me.

"Sami you were great" Lucas is still clapping

"Please, have you come to insult me" I roll my eyes

"No you really were good" Lucas is insisting.

"Right" I pick up my purse and am heading for the door.

"Sami why don't you like me?" I turn around and face him at this.

"Is that what you think? I don't like you? Lucas I don't even know you do you really think I'm that judgmental?" I can't believe I even stopped to talk.

"Well you seem to never want to talk to me, and every time I try to talk to you, you blow me off" Lucas protests

"Look Lucas I'm sorry things have been really hectic for me right now" I'm totally telling the truth. My life has been crazy with Austin marrying Carrie and Belle figuring out that I like Austin.

"I really would like to get to know you a little better" He smiles

"Did Carrie and Austin put you up to this?" I demand

"No! No not at all…geeze Sami you're like a freaking one woman circus! I have to have a reason to spend time with you now?"

"Look who is talking about the circus now. If it isn't bow bow the clown himself. Or need I remind you of the shoes you wore to dinner?" I snap

"For your information I was helping out the children's burn center at the Salem hospital!" Lucas yelled back

"Sami is this guy bothering you?" Trent asked from behind the bar.

"No Trent I was just leaving it's ok" I say turning around to leave again. I push open the door and step out into the cool night air. Lucas follows behind me.

"See there you go again! You won't even give me the time of day!" Lucas yells

"Why in the hell do you want to know me so bad? Trust me you really don't want to know me! Every person I touch turns to stone and leaves me!" I shout back as tears swell in my eyes.

"Sami that's not true! Your family will always be there for you" Lucas softens his voice a bit at the sight of my tears glistening on my cheeks under the street lamps.

"It doesn't even matter Lucas" I shake my head as I look down to the floor not wanting him to see my tears.

"You know what I see when I look at you Sami?" Lucas sounds like he is taking pity on me "I see a beautiful sexy girl, with a great voice and a trapped soul. I think inside your dieing to be free, and I'm willing to help you."

"Lucas I don't need your pity!" I snap through my tears

"Sami it's not pity, it's called a friend" He is walking closer to me. I can here the sound of his feet hitting the ground.

"You don't need to be my friend. I can be my own friend!" I snap as Lucas tilts my head up to look at him.

"Every one needs a friend" Lucas smiles at me. "Now get back in there and sing another song" Lucas assures me. I'm not sure why I listened to him, but I did. I walked back into the bar with my head held high, grabbed the mic and sang my heart out.

_Deep in Denialville  
Tryin' a' fight the way I feel  
I go jello when you smile  
I start blushin'-my head rushin'  
If you stand too close to me  
I might melt down from the heat  
If ya' look my way one more time  
I'm gonna go out of my mind  
Whatever you do... _

Don't even think about it!  
Don't go and get me started!  
Don't you dare drive me crazy!  
Don't do that to me baby! 

I was smiling; Me Sami Brady had actually cracked a smile. I was really getting into this song. I was dancing around the whole stage, and the audience was clapping there hands along with the beat. Man what a rush.

_You stop me in my tracks  
My heart pumpin' to the max  
I'm such a sucker for your eyes  
They permanently paralyze  
Whatever you do..._

Don't even think about it!  
Don't go and get me started!  
Don't you dare drive me crazy!  
Don't do that to me baby! 

Lucas is beaming up at me. I don't know why, but just to know he is watching brings another smile to my lips.

_(Whatever you do, don't do that to me)  
You got my heart under attack  
you give me shivers down my back  
D'ya have to walk the way you do?  
I get weak just watchin' you  
whatever you do..._

Don't even think about it!  
Don't go and get me started!  
Don't you dare drive me crazy!  
Don't do that to me baby!

Don't do that-don't do that 

The song was over and I was completely out of breath, with all the dancing and singing. It was great; this is the absolute best night I have ever had at this club. I run off the platform the people cheering for me to sing another. Lucas is waiting for me a large smile plastered on his face. I fun to him and hug him.

"Thank you Lucas. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!" I am screaming

"Sami I didn't do the singing for you that was all you" Lucas smiles "And I think they want another one" Lucas says pulling away from me and clapping. He starts to chant with the crowd "Sa-mi, Sa-mi!"

Finally I get the message, and I go back up to the platform. I was booming tonight man three songs in one night!

"So hun what'll it be?" Glenda asks

"I'm in a good mood you pick it tonight" I smile

"You got it" She smiles

_Someone always gets their hearts stomped to the ground  
And this is what I think every time I look around  
I never thought that this would happen to me  
I never thought that I'll end up this way_

And now that you're through with me  
Don't know what to do with me  
I guess I'm my own again  
Like I'm some kind of enemy  
Never a friend to me  
Remember when you used to say  
These things will always be this way

I guess this song did kinda go with me right now. I am heart broken, but for some reason my mind doesn't even want to think on it for one second. I just want to feel the rush of the cheering people and the happy glow that surrounds me.

_Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me_

Now I'm trying to get my heart up off the ground  
My confidence is gone  
Happiness can not be found  
So look what you did to me  
You got the best of me  
And now I'm stuck with all the rest  
It will never be the same

Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me 

I'm not really feeling this song. It makes me want to think of Austin, but I don't want to think of him really. My heart says to but my head is saying _Lucas, Lucas, Lucas!_

_Break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me_

All I ever wanted  
Is look me standing here alone  
It started with you and ended with me

All I ever needed  
I had it with you in my arms  
It started with you and ended with me

Lucas is watching me. He is really watching me. My every move my every motion. Why do I feel like he can see right through my happy smile and into my soul?

_Break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me_

Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me

Why don't you, break my heart  
Watch me fall apart you see  
I'm falling apart, look what you're doing to me

Why don't you, break my heart  
Break my heart  
Break my heart  
Break my heart 

The song ended with a large clap from the crowd. Trent was smiling at me, even Glenda looked happy, and Lucas…well Lucas just looked at me shocked. I don't know what is wrong with him? He almost looks like a love struck fool. _Did I just say love? _

I walk back down to Lucas, he smiles.

"You were really great up there Sami"

"Thank you, but it was you who convinced me to get back up there" I smile

"Yeah but it was you singing" He protested

"Thank you Lucas…for a wonderful evening" I say kissing him on the cheek and walking out of the bar. Now it was time to make it home to the comfort of my bed. _Man what a night…_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Days Of Our Lives characters or the songs Live Like You Were Dieing by: Tim McGraw or You Found Me by: Kelly Clarkson. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Seven **

The next day I went back to work, and I was happier then ever. I think Steve even noticed when closing time came and I was blasting No Doubt. I was surprised Steve didn't tell me to turn it off. Actually I think I saw him tapping his foot slightly to the beat.

I grabbed the nearest copy of 'The Giver' and placed it on the shelf. Spinning around a skipped and reached for another few copies. Lucas asked me to meet him at the club tonight, and sing. He said he had a surprise for me.

"You hold me like you should so I'm gonna keep on dancing" I sang along with the radio, as I shelf another book. I can't believe Steve isn't calling me on this. I think I could break dance in the middle of the store and he wouldn't even notice, he is so out of it.

He has been acting so strange all day. I'm not sure what's on his mind, but it's kinda freaking me out. _Maybe old age is getting to him._ I crack a smile at this thought, but it wasn't like it was the first time I had smiled today. I don't know what's wrong with me I just can't stop smiling.

"A performance deserving of standing ovations and who would have thought it'd be the two of us" I set the books that were in my arms down, and start dancing. I'm watching Steve the whole time. He doesn't even seem to notice. _What is wrong with him? _Now I'm really staring to worry.

"Hey Steve" I say waving my hand in front of his face. "You alright?" Man this guy is a total space case.

"Oh yes…I was just thinking" He says as he begins to zone out again. "About…" He doesn't finish he is to into his thoughts.

"About what?" don't you hate it when people just stop like that? "Steve are you sure your ok? You haven't been yourself all day." I am really worrying now. Steve snaps out of it and looks at me as if I have just slapped him. "Steve what's wrong?" I demand

"Sami I'm…I'm dieing" He says as his head looks to the floor.

"Oh my god Steve!" Tears are forming in my eyes. It's times like these when you appreciate the people that normally get on your nerves.

"Please Sami don't feel pity on me. I'm getting old and I knew my days were getting numbered." He says

"But Steve…"

"Sami I know we haven't always had a great relationship, but there is something I need to ask of you" He cuts me off

"Anything" I say my stomach in knots I can't believe he is dieing.

"Sami I want you to keep the book store…keep it alive and running, and pass it on to your children as my family has done" I can see the fear in his eyes, the fear of death.

"But Steve wouldn't your children want it? I mean why me?" I would gladly take it, but I feel selfish taking it from his family.

"I would Sami but…I never had any children" He gives a nervous laugh.

"I will take it" I say as tears slide down my cheeks. I know Steve and I never really got along, but I never once wished death upon him.

"Don't cry, I'm not worth it. Please promise me that you will go about the rest of work as if I never told you. I don't want a pity party from any one, and besides it's about time I join my wife up there" He says pointing at the ceiling, but I knew he meant heaven.

I shake my head yes in response. Unable to speak threw my tears. Just when things were getting better in my life, everything goes to hell!

"It's getting late Sami you should probably be getting home" Steve smiles at me, but I can see his eyes watering. I want to know how and why he is dieing, but I just don't have the strength to tell him now. I nod my head once again, and quickly, but silently walk out the door.

_He said I was in my early forties  
with a lot of life before me  
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime  
and I spent most of the next days  
looking at the x-rays  
Talking bout the options  
and talking bout sweet time  
I asked him when it sank in  
that this might really be the real end  
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news  
man what'd you do_

I was driving to the Drunken Cover as I reflected on my life. There were so many things I wanted to do before I died, and talking to Steve about him dieing really put it in perspective for me.

_and he said  
I went sky diving  
I went Rocky Mountain climbing  
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu  
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter  
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying  
and he said someday I hope you get the chance  
to live like you were dying. _

Maybe I should go climb a mountain. I've never done it before, and I would like to do it before I die.

_He said I was finally the husband  
that most the time I wasn't  
and I became a friend a friend would like to have  
and all the sudden going fishing  
wasn't such an imposition  
and I went three times that year I lost my dad  
well I finally read the good book  
and I took a good long hard look  
at what I'd do if I could do it all again_

and then  
I went sky diving  
I went Rocky Mountain climbing  
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu  
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter  
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying  
and he said someday I hope you get the chance  
to live like you were dying.

What if I died tomorrow? There are so many things, so, so many things I want to do. First of all I know I darn well want to have children before I die, and go dirt biking. Now that sounds like fun.

_Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about  
what'd you do with it what did you do with it  
what did I do with it  
what would I do with it'_

Why did Steve have to go? Why now? Why now when my life was going so great? Another tear slides down my cheek as I pull up to the Drunken Clover.

_Sky diving  
I went Rocky Mountain climbing  
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu  
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter  
and I watched an eagle as it was flying  
and he said someday I hope you get the chance  
to live like you were dying.  
To live like you were dying  
To live like you were dying  
To live like you were dying  
To live like you were dying_

I really just need some one to hug right now. My body starts to shake. I can't believe he is dieing. What if he is gone tomorrow and I never see him again? Maybe I should do something really nice for him. _No he told me no pity parties _How was I going to act at work tomorrow? Now that I know about it, work will be so weird.

Lucas is walking up to my car now. I'm still crying, and I don't care. I don't care if he sees me like this. Now if this were any one else in the world I would care, but for some reason I know that Lucas is the kind of guy you can cry on, and he will just comfort you.

"Sami…" Lucas trails off as he opens my door. "Sami what's wrong" he is standing over me looking terrified.

"Everything…is…is awful" I say as my sobs become stronger.

"Sami is it your family? Are you hurt? Are you sick?" Lucas keeps questioning me. I shake my head in response. Then Lucas knelt down and hugged me, and I mean really hugged me. I didn't care this moment wasn't odd to me at all. I cried into his shirt.

"Sami did some one hurt you?" He asks wrapping his arms tighter around me.

"No" I say as I gently tug my way out of his embrace. MY tears have subsided but I'm still shaking.

"What's wrong?" He asks me for the second time.

"It's my boss" I know I promised I wouldn't tell anyone about his condition, but it wasn't like Lucas knew him.

"What about him? Did he fire you?" Lucas looks puzzled

"No…he…he's dieing" I say as my eyes water again.

"I'm so sorry" He leans into the car to hug me again. "You don't have to sing tonight"

"Yes I do, I promised you I would" I am shaking my head.

"Sami all you need right now is a friend, and maybe a fluffy pillow" I look up at him to see if he is smirking, but he actually looks serious.

"No Lucas I want to sing" I say as I shift my way out of the car and past him. I know this really was no time for smiling, but I couldn't help but give a small one at the thought of him hugging me. I don't know why, but some how it felt right.

I walked into the bar with Lucas right behind me. I knew exactly what I was going to sing tonight. Lucas comforting me made me feel a little bit better. I walked the familiar path up to the plat form.

"Twice in one week" Trent shouts

"So what'll it be doll?" Glenda asks I lean down and whisper it into her ear. She walks off as I lean into the mic.

"This song is for a friend of mine, Lucas Roberts" I say as the music fills the room like a melodic wind.

_Is this a dream?  
If it is  
Please don't wake me from this high  
I've become comfortably numb  
Until you opened up my eyes  
To what it's like  
When everything's right  
I can't believe_

I can't explain the feeling. I feel like Lucas knows me batter them I know myself, and I have only been hanging around him since yesterday.

_You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me_

This song was like made for me to sing to Lucas. I never realized how much I really needed a friend until tonight. I don't know what would have happened tonight if he wasn't around. I am looking out, and Lucas is just looking up at me. I don't think he knew how much I appreciated him until now.

_So, here we are  
That's pretty far  
When you think of where we've been  
No going back  
I'm fading out  
All that has faded me within  
You're by my side  
Now everything's fine  
I can't believe_

With him helping me along the way I know I'll get through this. I've never really had a good friend, but I can just tell by looking at him that we have a connection. I don't know what this feeling is, but I feel kinda happy and yet sad. I'm happy that I found Lucas, but sad when I think of Steve.

_You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me_

How did he know just where to look for me? Did he know how dead I felt on the inside? He came into my life at a perfect time.

_And I was hiding  
'Til you came along  
And showed me where I belong  
You found me  
You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know?  
How did you know?_

As Lucas is looking up at me I see him smile. I'm glad I can make him smile. I don't want to think about Steve anymore tonight. I want to think about Lucas and our friendship growing. I must keep in mind that my days with him are numbered, but I don't want to spend them being sad. He is getting old, and I'm sure it's lonely with no wife and no children.

_You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me_

I small smile passes my lips as I think about how stupid I was to ever be in love with Austin. I knew he was taken all along. I am finally able to say that I'm staring to let go of him.

_(You found me)  
(When no one else was lookin')  
You found me  
(How did you know just where I would be?)  
You broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
The good and the bad  
And the things in between  
You found me  
You found me_

The song faded and, I jumped down from the platform. Running to Lucas I see two other men standing with him.

"Sami that was beautiful…and thank you" He looks shy now.

"Your welcome I was just thanking you for being there for me" Man I wish these two idiots would go away, and leave us alone.

"That's what friends are for" He smiles

"So who are your friends?" I ask pointing to the two gentlemen.

"Well before I tell you something in privet" He turns to the two men as they walk away a few feet.

"What Lucas?" I ask He is making me nervous

"First off you have a voice like an angel, and second those two men are your surprise"

"Lucas I don't do male strippers" I chuckle he knows I'm kidding

"No trust me you will like this surprise" He smirks "Hey Jason and Jack come here" He motions for them to come closer. The so called Jason and Jack walk back over to us.

"Nice to meet you I'm Samantha Brady" I say politely shaking both of there hands.

"We know Lucas has told us all about you" Jack says

"Sami I would like you to meet Jason and Jack" I nod and look to Lucas with a confused look.

"Lucas has told us of your voice, and I must say you really are great" Jason spoke

"Oh yes Lucas we defiantly except" Jack nods

"Except what?" I am still really confused

"Well Sami Jack and Jason own a record label called J & J. And they are looking for a singer to promote there label and…"

"So wait you want me to…" I can't even finish I am so excited

"Yes we want to bring you into the studio ASAP and start recording!" Jack finished…


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Days Of Our Lives characters I do how ever own the song lyrics to 'I've Still' **

**Chapter Eight**

Today would be my first day of recording. I couldn't wait. I had been writing new songs all week to show the record label. Today we were going to record a Demo of one of my songs, and this weekend would be when the Album songs would be decided. Gosh there was still an album title to come up with, and a book store to run.

Steve is still alive and kicking, but I have been trying to spend as much time at work as I can. Every last minuet with Steve is just as important as the first. I'm so afraid I'll get so caught up in my music, and Steve will just drop dead. What if it happens and I don't even know about it? I would never forgive myself. Maybe this isn't the best time to be getting on a record label.

I'm standing out of the recording studio now waiting for Lucas. I'm so nervous about every one hearing my real lyrics. I wrote them, and I'm still afraid to share them.

"Are you ready?" Lucas walks up behind me.

"As read as I'll ever be" I say sarcastically

"Sami don't be nervous its ok I'm right here next to you" He says placing his arm around my shoulders, as we begin to walk inside the building.

"Lucas I can't help but be nervous my heart and soul went into these lyrics" I sigh

"You're going to be great. Trust me you have the voice of an angel." He smiles as we enter the building.

"I hope your right" I smile a weak smile

"Samantha?" The lady at the front desk calls

"Yes" I say nervously

"Rianna has been waiting for you" She says getting up from her desk" Follow me" She says as she begins to walk down a long hallway. Lucas and I follow right behind her. "So you're Mis.Brady huh?"

"That would be me" I smile

"Jason and Jack talk of nothing, but you. You must be really good" She keeps on walking her heels clicking on the tiled floor.

"Thanks" I say not really sure what else to say. The woman finally stops outside a door as she reaches for the handle of the door Lucas gives me one last hug, more of a one armed hug.

"Rianna?" The woman calls

"Yes" A voice comes from inside the room.

"Mis. Brady is here to record her demo"

"Send her on in"

"Will do" The woman motioned for me and Lucas to step inside

I stepped inside the room and was in aw. The room was huge with lots of buttons and hob-knobs all over the walls.

"Hello I'm Rianna I'll be helping you record your demo" Rianna smiled as she shook my hand "and you are?" Rianna pointed to Lucas

"Lucas…Lucas Robert's" He holds out his hand to shake Rianna's

"Alright Sami you just come over here…" She says leading me behind a glass window most likely a sound proof room. "Here are your head phones and your mic…" She is now pushing me closer to the mic.

"Well I don't have the music for the song yet…I mean I have a tune, but like no drums or any back ground stuff has been planned."

"Don't worry we've got you covered on that…right after we have the song lyrics down then we figure out the music" She smiles "Now be sure to sing really clearly" Then she turns on her heels and walks out of the glass box.

Once she is outside the box I see her signal me a thumbs up, and then the recording light is on. I begin to sing, my lyrics.

"This is I've Still"

_I got in the car and drove away_

_Leaving you behind me. _

_I left it all and started _

_Over again! _

_I knew it would take some time _

_To mend this broken heart._

_I needed a new start. _

I can feel the energy in the room. I can't believe I'm actually singing my stuff. This has always been a huge dream of mine.

_But I've still got your picture_

_And I've still got the memories we made_

_And I've still got the pain. I've_

_Still got your smile engraved on my_

_Heart. And I've still got the_

_Sound of your voice ringing in_

_My ears. _

I look out threw the glass for a split second, and see Lucas smiling at me, Giving me the thumbs up. He looked so nice today. _What! What am I thinking…? _

_I started over and pushed_

_You out of my life_

_But I hope you know that_

_When it's late at night_

_I hold on to my heart tight._

_Even though it's still not whole _

_I don't want to get it used again. _

Why was it that all of the sudden, as I looked out at Lucas I felt a strange flutter in my stomach? It was the weirdest feeling, I had never felt this way by just looking at some one.

_But I've still got your picture_

_And I've still got the memories we made._

_And I've still got the pain _

_I've still got your smile engraved on my heart._

_And I've still got the sound_

_Of your voice ringing in my ears._

_I've still got your smile engraved on my heart. _

_Ohhhhhhhhhh my heart. _

The red light on the recording button went off as Rianna walked over to the glass case and came inside.

"Alright Sami that was great…now just sing that about 100 more times and we'll be done" She patted me on the back and walked out.

After finally getting the demo recorded I got to add music. I must say after hearing the whole thing through with the music and all I sounded pretty good.

"Man what a night" Lucas yawns as he walks me to my car.

"I agree" I pause to yawn "Don't yawn it's contagious" I chuckle

"You wanna grab some ice cream or something?" Lucas runs his hands through his hair.

"Are you asking me out?" I smirk

"Maybe" He looks into my eyes

"Hmmmmmm…well maybe just tonight" I laugh as he opens the passenger door of his car for me. After making sure I am all the way in the car Lucas runs over to the other side to get in himself.

I love ice cream, and it felt exceptionally good on my throat tonight.

"So what was with the song lyrics? I mean you wrote them what were they about?" He asks as he licks his chocolate ice cream.

"Well they're about a kinda passed love" I can't believe I just said passed love. I mean I guess Austin was a passed love. I haven't thought about him in almost two weeks.

"So you're still attached?" He was defiantly hinting around. Did he have something for me or what?

"No actually I think…I think I'm finally over it" I smile "Yeah I guess I am"

"So are you free tomorrow night?" He asks

"Maybe" I smirk "Are you asking me out again clown boy?" I chuckle

"Maybe"

"That was a yes or no question" I say taking in a large bite of my cake batter ice cream

"Well if you can play the maybe game so can I" He smirks his oh so famous smirks. Why was a flirting with Lucas? He is my best friend now? What is with this weird fluttery feeling? "So are you free tomorrow night?"

"Actually no" I pause as Lucas looks disappointed "You see I have a date with my best friend" Lucas looks up at me and smiles

"Samantha Brady you are one piece of work"

"That I am" I chuckle again

"So you'll go out with me tomorrow night?" He is ecstatic inside; I can tell he is holding it in.

"Yes Lucas I'll go out with you" I smile and continue eating my ice cream.

Lucas dropped me off at my car, where I thought I was maybe going to get a good night kiss, but didn't. Maybe he was saving it for tomorrow night. I think I'm actually falling for this guy. I smile at the thought. I've never loved any one else but Austin so this feeling is completely new to me.

I hoped tomorrow night would help me to realize if this was love or a stupid fling. Then again anything with Lucas should never be considered stupid. Well there was only one thing to do tonight, and that would be to get some sleep and wait for tomorrow to come…


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days. Nor to I own the songs Hella good by: No Doubt, Learn To Love Again by: Kaci and Better Then This by: Kimberly Locke. The only payment I get is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Nine**

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I had that weird dream again where Carrie is marrying Austin, but then I become Carrie. Except this time Austin turned into Lucas, and Lucas didn't turn into the devil. He and I actually got married.

I jumped up from my bed and grabbed my dream interpretation book. I flipped to the back of the book and looked under 'Your Wedding'.

"_To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are entering in your life." _I read to myself. Well I most certainly was not going into parent hood, and Lucas isn't my spouse.

Why would I dream of Lucas? Well I guess they do say that when something happens in your life it's bound to happen in your dreams, and I do see Lucas on a daily basis. I close the book and flip on the radio. Today I had a date with Lucas, well I'm guessing the date is tonight, but why not make it all day.

_The waves keep on crashing on me for some reason  
But your love keeps on coming like a thunderbolt  
Come here a little closer  
'Cause I wanna see you, baby, real close up  
(Get over here)  
(Get over he_re)

I grab my hair brush and start singing into it. _What a great day _I smile to myself as I continue on singing.

_You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing keep on dancing_

Your performance deserving a standing ovation  
And who would have thought it'd be the two of us  
So don't wake me if I'm dreaming  
'Cause I'm in the mood come on and give it up

I wonder what Lucas has up his sleeve for our date tonight? I can hardly wait until tonight, but never the less I still have to go to work. I am terribly frightened to see Steve, but I know he doesn't want me acting weird around him.

_You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing keep on dancing _

After all this was the song I was singing when Steve told me he was dieing. I hope he lives on for a long time. Even though I hate living in fear I want him to live as long as he can.

_You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing keep on dancing_

Ooh yeah yeah  
Ooh yeah yeah

You've got me feeling hella good   
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing keep on dancing

I shake my head slightly riding the thoughts of Steve from my mind. Today was all about Lucas, and of coarse a few hours of work in the morning. I don't really work there much. Steve doesn't need me he prefers to run the place himself. I'm just a little extra help. I could probably call off today if I wanted too.

_You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing keep on dancing_

Keep on dancing  
Keep on dancing 

The song ended and the next one came on. I reached for my cell phone and dialed the book stores number. I waited for two rings and finally Steve picked up on the third.

"Hello?" Steve answered

"Steve…its Sami I was just calling to say I won't be coming in today" now if this were a normal job and I worked full time I'm sure I couldn't just tell my boss that.

"That's fine Sami" Steve said in a completely normal tone.

"Thanks Steve" I say and push end on my phone. I had the day off and now I just had one more person to call.

"H…hello?" Lucas answered in a sleepy tone

"Hey Lucas its Sami" I say

"Sami what is it…is everything alright!" Lucas panics

"Lucas everything is fine" I chuckle

"So why are you calling me at seven o'clock in the morning?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to make our date tonight an all day thing?" I ask

"Oh…well what did you have in mind?" He asks

"Well I was thinking maybe we spend the day at the beach?" My voice has risen to that high pitched girlie tone.

"Alright" Lucas answers "I'll meet you in front of the Drunken Clover in an hour" Then the line went dead.

After setting my phone down on the bed I jumped up and started dancing around the room. I think it's time to pull out the girlie music. I pull out my mix CD and hit play.

_drowning in tears that wont be me  
I will soon be free from all these chains of all this pain inside  
and though I cry it wont be long till I regain the strength to know  
I can go on  
I will find my way through the heart break I will not give up on love  
I believe_

I will learn to love again I will learn to trust  
once this heart can mend  
I will learn to learn to love again

Now I'm really dancing! I'm spinning around the room and jumping for joy. I'm doing cart wheels now. I haven't done a cart wheel since high school.

_all of these tears time will dry them I will survive them  
and make it through into another day all of this pain  
time will heal it there'll be a time sometime I know  
I will feel it  
I will live through life without you after the hurting is done  
I believe _

_I will learn to love again I will learn to trust  
once this heart can start mend  
I will learn to learn to love again_

This song is so true about me. I am finally learning to love again. I can't stop smiling; I can tell it's going to be one of those days again where all I do is smile.

_I will find someone who deserves my touch after all the hurt is through   
I will be so over you I will not give up on love  
I believe yeah_

I will learn to love again I will learn to trust  
once this heart start can mend  
I will learn to learn to love again

Oh yeah yeah oh oh love again

The song is over and I'm not rushing back over to my vanity. If I had to be ready in an hour I darn well had better hurry.

An hour later I was parked outside of the Drunken Clover waiting for Lucas. I had my bathing suite packed and my sun block. I was set rip roaring and ready to go. Lucas's car pulled into the parking lot as I grabbed my beach bag.

"Sorry I was so late" Lucas says getting out of his car.

"It's ok really" I smile I feel like I'm walking on sunshine.

"Well shall we then?" He asks grabbing my bag and putting it in the car.

"Lets shall" I chuckle

As the waves beat down upon the shore Lucas and I walked along them barefooted. We are playing a game of out run the waves. Every time a wave goes back down into the sea he and I run down. Then when another one comes up we try to out run it before it hits us.

"Ahhhhhhh" I scream as a wave hits the end of my heels.

"Ha you loose" Lucas laughs

"Oh I'll show you who looses" I say running toward him and tackling him back into the sand.

"Ow" Lucas says as I fall on top of him.

"You big baby" I chuckle, but suddenly stop as I see Lucas looking into my eyes. I move my face closer to his as to kiss him. We are so close…so…so close…I move in for the kiss.

"Ahhhhhhh" I scream as the cold wave rolls up onto us. "It's freezing!" I scream jumping up and ringing out the bottom of my pants. _That killed the mood! _Lucas gets up out of the sand and reaches for my towel.

"Here" he hands me my towel.

"Thanks" It's nearly six o'clock now. We have spent the whole day on the beach and I couldn't be happier.

"Sami we can't go to dinner…yet"

"Why not?" I ask puzzled

"Because there is some where we have to go first" He smirks

"Ooooooo where!" I demand

"You'll see" He smirks as we get into the car.

"Lucas where are we?" I say clutching his arm tightly. The room we have entered is very dark.

"Lights Henderson" Lucas called as the whole room lit up. There were dresses around every nock and cranny.

"Lucas I don't get it…what is this?" I shake my head in confusion

"Well you'll need a dress for our date tonight it's kinda fancy" He smiled

"Lucas you didn't have to do that I could have brought a dress with me" I am blushing now

"Oh but I wanted to" He looks shy now

"Well thanks" I reply and begin to look around the place at all the dresses

After much searching I finally settled on a pink gown. The dress fell just passed my knees. The top of it has thin straps and came into a V-neck. From the waist the dress fell down into twisted like strands. I wore a pair of pink earrings and shoes (Complements of Henderson). After getting ready I opened the dressing room door to find Lucas.

He looked at me in aw. I smiled and maybe blushed a little.

"What?" I smirk

"You just look amazing" He smiled

"Thank you…but it's really the dress" I replied

"No I like what's in the dress better" I blushed a deep shade of red at the comment.

"So where exactly are we going?" I ask

"You'll see" He smirked again

"Goodness Lucas this is so like you" I laugh

"That's me by the book Robert's" He says lacing his arm with mine.

Lucas's face is barely visible with the low tint of the candles. We are eating now at some restrant called 'Majesty' it's right on the beach and there is a live band. They play slow songs.

"Alright thanks for a beautiful night, but we are out of here" The lead singer speaks. The whole crowd sighs.

"Sami do you want to sing?" Lucas whispers "I bet they would let you"

"Alright" I smirk "But only under one condition"

"What's that?"

"You have to sing with me" I smile

"Sami I can't sing" Lucas looks embarrassed

"Sure you can" I smile "Please it will be fun" I pout

"Alright if it will make you happy" He says getting up from his chair.

"It will" I smile wider

Lucas walks up to the stage I can tell he is nervous. He is now talking to the lead singer of the band. The conversation looks like its going well, and suddenly the previous band starts playing music.

"Is there a Sami Brady it the house?" Lucas says into the mic. I run up to the stage and sing the first verse giving Lucas some time to gather his composure.

_There's a shadow in my mind,  
that I'm tryin' to leave behind  
but it can't get me down.  
There are clouds in the sky;  
still, the sun is in my eyes  
whenever you're around._

It's all good,  
like I could  
finally be the one who gets to win.  
It's so real,  
how I feel  
ever since I let you in. 

I look over to Lucas signaling him with my eyes to sing the chorus with me. Lucas starts to sing and I'm so blown away I am almost speechless. But none the less I start to join him in song.

_Does it get any better than this?  
We're into something beautiful.  
Bein' with you's as good as it gets.  
It doesn't get any better... _

Lucas takes it from me and sings the next verse. I am looking at him in aw. The hell if he couldn't sing! He is one of the best men singers I have ever heard.

_It's as if,  
the night is ours.  
I can see a billion stars  
that were never there before.  
Like there's something in the air  
I can feel it everywhere,  
I just want more and more._

It's all good,   
like I could  
fly up to the moon and back again.  
It's so real,  
how I feel;  
never want it all to end.

Now we sing the chorus together again.

_Does it get any better than this?  
We're into something beautiful.  
Bein' with you's as good as it gets.  
It doesn't get any better... _

I am completely blown away that Lucas can actually sing. And he is pretty darn good to boot!

_Standing' here in my shoes,  
I feel like I can't lose,  
no, not this time.  
O-o-oh,   
the worst is in the past,  
we save the best for last  
when now I find  
everything is just fine!_

Everything is just fine!

Does it get any better than this?  
We're into something beautiful.  
Bein' with you's as good as it gets.  
It doesn't get any better than this!

No, no, no!  
Something beautiful!  
As good as it gets!  
Baby, you and me.  
It doesn't get any better!  
We're into something beautiful!

The song ended and I turned to him still in shock of it all. Then I don't know what happened the next thing that happened was so sudden I didn't even see it coming. He kissed me Lucas Robert's is kissing me...

_**To see the dress click on the link below:**_

_http/ _


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days. Nor do I own the songs First Day Of The Rest Of Our Lives by MXPX or Free Fallin by: Tom Petty. The only payment I get is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Ten**

Lucas continued to kiss me. I could care less if every one saw us. I could here whistling all around us from the couples at tables. _And to believe this is to be a fancy restrant? _I brought my hands up to snake around his neck. _I guess we really are into something beautiful _I think to my self, but I can't bring myself to think of anything but Lucas's

Lucas broke off the kiss first, and we pulled apart. I had a wide grin on my face as we took a bow and stepped of the stage. He grabbed my hand as we walked back to our table. _Oh shoot the fluttery feeling is back! _ We take our seats as out dessert arrives. _Coconut cream pie YUM! _I lick my lips as I bring the first bite to my lips.

"I told you I can't sing" Lucas mumbles as he takes a bite of his own slice of pie. I drop the fork in my hand as it hits the plate with a smash.

"Lucas you were great!" My mouth is open in shock

"Sami you don't have to pretend" Lucas looks shy

"Lucas I'm not pretending! I'm being completely honest" I can't believe this guy thinks he can't sing! He was wonderful! "Heck I almost think it should be you getting the record label not me!" I can't believe him putting himself down like that!

"You really think that?" I shake my head in response. "Sami do you wanna dance?" Lucas asks trying to get rid of the subject.

"Lucas there is no music" I chuckle

"That never stopped you from singing now did it?" He smiles

"Oh alright" I smile as he helps me out of my chair. He takes my hand and leads me out on to an open space. No one else is dancing it's just the two of us in the middle of the tables.

I place one hand of his chest as he brings his own to over mine. My other arm is around his neck. I could stay like this forever. I felt so safe at this moment like if a bullet was shot at me it wouldn't even hit me. It's like there is a barrier between us and the real world.

I feel like it's just the two of us. Like no one else is even around us. There is no music we wouldn't need it even if there was. Lucas's chocolate pools are bearing down into my oceanic orbs. It's almost like a game of who will blink first.

"Well I'll remember this date for sure" Lucas chuckled as he dumped the water out of his shoe.

"It's not my fault the tide decided you were so cute" I chuckle

"Cute huh?"

"Yes it thought you were so cute that it dragged you in" I can't help but laugh at Lucas he is soaked from head to toe. We were going for a quiet romantic walk on the beach, but the ocean thought it needed Lucas more then me.

We are walking back to the car now. It's night and the stars are so beautiful. I'm looking up at the sky when I see a shooting star rush across the night sky.

"Lucas did you see that" I whisper

"Make a wish" He replies _I wish I could know if this is love _I think to myself. "So what did you wish for?" Lucas asks

"If I told you it won't come true" I grin

"You believe in that fish tale" Lucas chuckles

"I would rather believe in one then smell like one" I laugh pointing to his wet clothes

"Well you kissed this fish" Lucas points to himself

"Correction I kissed you before you smelled of fish" I say in a sassy tone

"Oh really…" Lucas trails off as he reaches for my arm. Pulling me to him he brings his lips to mine for the second time in one night. This time both of us were more into it. I grabbed onto Lucas for support. I break off the kiss this time as I look up at him and smile.

"We had better get going" I speak letting go of him.

"Yeah if we don't I don't think we will go" Lucas sniggered

After opening my car door and helping me get all the strands of my dress in, Lucas helped himself in the car. After starting it up he turned the radio up on full blast. I loved the song that was playing!

_Not a lot right now makes sense to me  
and it won't go quietly  
not a lot right now makes sense to me  
And it won't sit patiently _

_I'm gonna chase my dreams and catch up to them  
I'm gonna find you some how, some way, somewhere, some day_

First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already  
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already  
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already  
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already

I looked over at Lucas who was drumming his hands on the steering wheel. He looked so cute when he was into a song.

_I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone  
Where's life taking me?  
I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone  
Always traveling_

I'm gonna chase my dreams and catch up to them  
I'm gonna find you some how, some way, somewhere, some day

First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already  
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already  
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already  
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already 

In a way I could look at today as the first day of the rest of mine and Lucas's lives. That is if I knew if this was love. I really wish there was a way to tell. How does one tell if there in love? The real world is so hectic.

_I wanna love my job  
I wanna love my life  
But most of all, I wanna fall in love_

First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already  
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already   
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already  
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already

The song faded away along with the road behind us. We continued on driving into the night, we were about an hour away from home (Note I have no clue where Salem is so lets just say it's not to far from the beach) I couldn't wait to get out of this dress. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world.

"Thank you Lucas" I say keeping my eyes on the road

"For what?" He asks

"For getting me away for a while, I needed that"

"It was your idea to go to the beach" He said turning the radio down.

"Yes but you drove, and it wouldn't have been as fun with out you"

"True" he smiles as he reaches for the radio dial again and cranks it up.

_Now I'm free, free fallin'  
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'_

All the vampires walkin' through the valley  
Move west down Ventura Boulevard  
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows  
And the good girls are home with broken hearts

This is a good song as well. _Man what radio station is this? _Lucas is once again strumming his hands on the wheel. I'm dancing as much as one can dance sitting down.

_Now I'm free, free fallin'  
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'_

Free fallin', now I'm, free fallin', now I'm  
Free fallin', now I'm, free fallin', now I'm

What is this that I'm feeling for Lucas? I don't understand, just by taking one look at him I get that strange fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach. _That sure never happened when I looked at Austin…hmmmm _Maybe it is love? But then again what if it's just a fling? Maybe I just have a stronger bong with him because he is my friend?

_A fling…A FLING! How can you think that about Lucas? _My head is screaming _He took you in when you had no one else! _I know head I know! _Lucas loves you! _Did Lucas love me?

_I wanna glide down over Mull Holland  
I wanna write her name in the sky  
gonna free fall out into nothin'  
gonna leave this world for a while_

I released a breath that I didn't even know I was holding in. This whole love thing was hitting me like a ton of bricks.

_Now I'm free, free fallin'  
Yeah I'm free, free fallin' _

My phone started to ring. I couldn't here it, but it had been on vibrate so I could feel it. I quickly whip it out of my pocket and push the talk button.

"Hello?" I answer the person on the other end said something, but I couldn't here over the loud music. "Lucas could you turn that down?" I ask as he quickly moves to turn it down.

"Sami?" My mother's voice says on the other end

"Hey mom"

"Some thing has happ…fuzzzzz" was all I could here

"Mom hello? Mom?" but I couldn't here her. "Mom we're going through a canyon I'll call you back" I reply as I push end on my cell phone. All I could here from the radio was a fuzz as well.

"Who was that?" Lucas asks

"My mom, but I could barley here her" I shrug

"Well we'll be out of the canyon real soon here" Lucas said pointing to the up coming city.

The radio began to fade back in gradually. It was pretty clear, but I thought I should wait a few more minuets before I called my mom.

_Yeah I'm free, free fallin' OH  
Free falling  
Yeah I'm free, OH free fallin'_

_Yeah I'm free, free fallin' OH  
Free falling  
Yeah I'm free, OH free fallin' _

My phone rang again. I jumped a mile as it had scared me when it vibrated.

"Hello?" I answer my heart beating a mile a minuet

"Sami?"

"Hey Belle" I smile

"Did mom talk to you?" Belle sounds worried

"She called me, but I could barely here her…why what's up?" I ask

"I think you should call mom now!" Belle demands as the line goes dead.

_What did my mom have to say that Belle couldn't ell me? _I dialed my mom's cell phone number as quick as my fingers could. It rang once and my mom picked it up.

"Sami?" She asked

"Mom what's up?" I ask worried

"It's Steve" My mom sounds as if she has been crying

"Oh my god is he ok!" I panic as Lucas looks to me worried

"He's in the hospital, but Sami that's not it" My mother sounds as if she will cry again at any minuet

"Mom what is it?" I ask again

"Sami I need to see you and tell you…can you come down to the hospital?" My mother asks

"Yeah I'll be there in about fifteen minuets" I reply as I hang up. "Lucas we have to get to the hospital now!" I bark as Lucas steps on the gas…


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days. Nor do I own the song Molly Smiles by: Jesse. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers. **

**Chapter Eleven **

I rushed into the hospital doors as if hell were at my heels. Lucas was hot on my tracks, and he looked worried as ever. I didn't tell him why I had to come to the hospital. I just simply told him to step on it. I scanned the room looking for one of my family members, but none were in sight. I rushed over to the front desk.

"I'm looking for Steve Harrington" I sound anxious and I know it

"Room 237" The woman replied

I didn't even thank the woman. I just ran strait down the hall scanning for room 237. _233…235…237! _ I stopped in front of the door. I couldn't move I was frozen. What if Steve was already dead?

"Sami?" Some one calls "Wait!" It's my mother. I spin around to come face to face with her.

"How is he" I panic

"Sami before you go in there I have to tell you something" My mother looks scared, really scared.

"What is it mom?" I place my hand on her shoulder.

"Lucas would you mind" My mother looks to him.

"No not at all" Lucas starts to walk off down the hall. He looks worried as well.

"Sami maybe you better sit down" She replies biting her bottom lip. I nod my head in response and take a seat in the waiting area. No one else is over here it's just the two of us. "Sami this may come as a bit of a shock to you" She takes a seat next to me

"Mom is it Steve?"

"Kind of" She is still chewing her bottom lips. Note she always does this when she is nervous.

"Mom!" Belle calls from across the room. She walks up to us "Did you tell her?" Belle looks nervous as well

"I was just getting to it" My mother looks annoyed

"Does every body know something I don't?" I am getting angry now. I wish they would just tell me.

"Sami its Steve…he is…well" My mother pauses as her eyes fog over. "This is so hard" She is going to cry.

"Mom just tell me" I reply as I begin to cry. This must be serious if she is crying. Belle is starting to cry as well. She looks worried sick.

"Sami Steve is your father!" My mom takes in a deep breath. I can't speak…_Did I here her right? _

"What!" I shout "That's impossible! How could you keep this from me mom?" I pause for a minuet "Or are you even my mother?" I snap

"Of coarse I'm your mother…Sami Steve and I were young and…"

"How could you do this to me? And right as he is about to die!" I am screaming as loud as I can now.

"Sami calm down" Belle speaks

"I won't CALM DOWN!" I scream as tears burst out of my eyes "Steve is my father! And you...You" I point at my mother "You made me believe that Roman was my father! I lived my whole life believing you!"

"What is going on down here?" A nurse runs in

"I can't believe you! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" I am still screaming

"She is hysterical!" The nurse shouts as she runs over to me a shot in her hand.

"Don't touch me!" I yell as she comes closer

"I'm sorry miss" She replies as she pokes the needle into my flesh.

_Steve_

_My Father_

_Lucas in love_

_I hate my mother_

_Ohhh pretty colors_

_Dizzy so dizzy_

_Steve My Father _

The room seems to be spinning. I am dizzy so dizzy. People are talking around me, but I can't here them. The room seems to be spinning into a mush of colors. The next thing I remember is falling backwards, and into the darkness.

"Sami?" Some one is talking to me. I'm trying to open my eyes, but as soon as I do I see blurry. It takes a moment for everything to come into focus.

"Lucas?" I ask, he is stroking my hand. I'm lying in a hospital bed. "Wh…what happened?" I ask

"Well you were having a panic attack...so…um…The nurse she a…gave you a shot to help you" He answered slowly. Then it all came back to my Steve was….he was my father. "I ah…got you this" He replies handing me a silver rose, with a red ribbon around it.

"Thank you" I speak s tears come to my eyes. _Steve was my father…_

"Don't cry, you're ganna be fine" He assures me

"Lucas you don't understand…" my body begins to shake

"What Sami?" He insists

"My boss…Steve…he is…well I just found out…he is…my…my father" I get out between sobs

"Oh god" Lucas says as he brings me to his chest in a hug.

"Lucas I want to see him…I want to see my father" I say trying to hold in the sobs.

I'm walking into the room where my father is being kept. I feel like I'm walking in a dream land and any moment I'll wake up. I'm so out of it I don't even know how I got from point A to point B.

"Just behind that curtain" the nurse implies

"Thank you" I say as I take a few steps closer to the curtain. This small thin lining of cloth was all that shielded me from my father, my real father. So why did I feel like I was mile away? I reached the curtain took a deep breath and pulled it back.

There he was lying on the bed, an oxygen machine attached to him, and ivy in his hand. MY eyes fogged over with tears as I put my hand over my mouth. Steve looked up at me in surprise. He looked pale not like himself. I gathered my composure and walked over to his bedside.

"Daddy?" I sobbed as I reached for his hand.

"Sami?" Steve breathed

"Daddy you said you didn't have any children" I cried Steve is looking at me in shock.

"I wanted…to…tell you" He breaths again

"It's ok I'm here now" I say as his hand comes up to cup my cheek. Normally this would have been weird if Steve was in boss mode, but in dad mode all seemed perfect. "Daddy I'm going to higher the best specialists to help you…I promise" I shake my head. I can't seem to stop saying daddy in every sentence. It could be the last day I ever get to call him daddy to his face.

Steve reaches a shaky hand over to his bed side. He grabs something and then brings it into my view. It's a CD "Play it" He whispers I nod and turn to his breakfast try where a small radio is placed. Popping the CD in I sit back and listen. Never letting go of his hand.

_Daddy's little girl paints the world with her magic wand  
Daddy's little child breathes new life to the morning time for me  
Though we're apart, her thoughts follow me  
When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn  
Molly smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo  
When she plays, Molly smiles  
On a summer day, Molly smiles  
A new day, Molly smiles _

A tear trickles down my cheeks. The lyrics are so powerful. I know I'm not Molly but I know what my father meant when he wanted me to here this.

_Daddy's little girl ties a ribbon around my heart  
Daddy's little child waves goodbye to the ocean tide that sweeps me  
Though we're apart, she's a part of me_

"Daddy I love you" I say pressing a kiss into his palm.

"I love you to" He gives me a weak smile.

_Molly smiles with the dawn  
Molly smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo  
When she plays, Molly smiles  
On a summer day, Molly smiles  
A new day, Molly smiles_

Why did he have to leave now? Why when I just found out? How could this happen to me? If only she had told me sooner…I could have had so much more time. _I'll never forgive her for this…_

_Though we're apart, she's a part of me_

Now that I'm looking down at his face, I really can see the resemblance between us. I have his eyes and his mouth.

_When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn  
Molly smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo  
When she plays, Molly smiles  
On a summer day, Molly smiles  
A new day, Molly smiles_

I close my eyes for a few minuets enjoying the company of my father, and the time we have left together.

_When the days have gone grey,  
nothing's wrong when Molly smiles…_

I opened my eyes and looked at my dad. He was crying.

"Dad I'm going to get the best specialists on the line right now" I say kissing his hand again and rush out of the hospital wing towards the payphone.

"I don't care if there from England I want them here and working with my FATHER!" I yell into the phone "I'll pay good money for this!" I yell again. "Yes…yes…alright I'm glad you saw things my way" I reply and hang up the phone.

"How was it?" Lucas asks

"What?" I say turning around to face him

"Seeing your father?" He asks, but has that look as if I'm going to yell at him.

"It went ok I'm getting the best doctors in the world to help him"

"Sami how do you plan on paying for this?" Lucas looks uneasy

"The book store…I have to sell it" I say as my eyes for over for the millionth time today.

"Sami Steve…your dad wants you to have that store!" Lucas looks confused

"Lucas what is more important my dad or some old book store?" I snap

"You dad of coarse, but I don't think your dad is going to like that very much"

"It doesn't matter Lucas I can't just let him die!" I snap again

"I know, but isn't there another way...I mean your voice sell that" Lucas smiled

"You mean my Album?"

"Yeah"

"Lucas I would have to sell a lot of them, and no one even knows who I am" I reply

"Yeah…but what if they did" He smiles even wider

"So you know a way to help me?" I say smiling back

"Yeah actually I do"

"Thank you Lucas!" I jump up and kiss him on the cheek. I couldn't kiss him on the lips…I just couldn't. I feel terrible I really should have went into work today, and spent as much time as possible with my dad. If I wouldn't have left with Lucas…

"I'm so sorry Sami" Belle is hugging me "You don't have to sing at my graduation…you have enough on your plate" I pull away from Belle

"Yes Belle I do…I told you I would" I look at her in shock

"Sami no your dad needs you" She gives me a weak smile

"No Belle I'll be there I promise…oh and by the way what am I singing?" I ask

"It's a song you'll know I promise" Belle finishes

I have the worst cramp in my neck ever. I have been sitting in this hospital chair over night. My head resting on the edge of my dad's bed. It wasn't the best nights sleep but it was some. I open my eyes and sit up to see an empty bed.

"Daddy?" I call "Where is my dad?" But I could see it in my mother's eyes, who was standing next to me. She was crying into a tissue as my dad…Roman held her

"Where is my dad?" I ask as my mother looked at me crying even harder.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days. Nor do I own the song Graduation by: Vitamin C. The only payment I get is feedback from the kind readers **

**Chapter Twelve **

"Where is my dad?" I ask again as I started to quiver with fear.

"Oh Sami" My mother cried as she hugged me, I normally would have pushed her away, but I needed to know. I needed to know if he was still breathing.

"Please tell me he is ok?" I sob as the tears start to fall. My mother shook her head as my heart sunk. "He's gone?" I ask my mother shook her head no and that made me feel slightly better. "Where is he?" I demand

"It's a miracle" My mother finally gets out.

"WH…what?"

"Sami he's in there" My mother smiled as she pointed to the next door over. The door read 'Recovery'

"Recovery?" I ask

"He went into surgery this morning" My mother hiccupped "It's a miracle" She sobbed as I rushed over to the recovery room. I flung the door open, and there he was my father asleep on a bed. He had gotten some color back in his face, he looked better already.

"Dad?" I ask as his eyes flutter open "How ya feeling?" I ask as he smiles

"Much better" he sounds groggy, but then again I would be too if I had just been cut open to take cancer tumors out of me!

"That's good" I started to cry

"Hey it's ok…" He said grabbing my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze

"I'm just happy that's all…now I can get to know you" I smile through the tears

"When I get out of this place we should take a vacation…just us" He smiled

"That would be great dad"

"I've got it all set up" Lucas said

"What?" I ask

"We need to get over to the studio…you've got a photo shoot for your album cover" He smirks

"Thank you Lucas you're the best" I say hug tackling him and kissing him.

"By the way did you decide what you wanted to title your album?" he says breaking off the sweet kiss.

"Actually I did" I smile.

"Alright we better get down there then" He said twisting his keys around in his hand.

"Beautiful Disaster" Lucas asked as he looked at my album cover.

"Yeah I mean look at this mess with my father and getting the money to pay for his operation. But now you see it was all worth it because he is ok now. So it was a disaster in disguise. A real Beautiful Disaster." I chuckle

"Oh I see that now" Lucas said turning the case over. "You already know what's going to be on the CD?" Lucas said reading the song titles

"Duh Rianna and I planned this weeks ago when I came in to do my Demo." I roll my eyes "Now I have to sit here and record." I shrug "This is going to take a while.

Rianna walked into the recording studio as I sat inside the usual glass like box.

"Alright Sami I think we'll start with Love" She said

"You got it" I smiled as the red recording light came on.

"This is the love remix" I said into the mic

_L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore _

_Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it  
Take my heart and please don't break it  
Love was made for me and you_

I was thrilled when Rianna told me we would be working on a remix. We planned it out the same day as the demo. I smiled at Lucas as I had to pause for the music. He blew me a kiss as Rianna looked at us strangely.

_L is for the way you look at me  
O is for the only one I see  
V is very, very extraordinary  
E is even more than anyone that you adore _

_Love is all that I can give to you  
Love is more than just a game for two  
Two in love can make it  
Take my heart and please don't break it  
Love was made for me and you  
Love was made for me and you  
Love was made for me and you_

I held the last note as the recording light went off. "Sami that was great" Rianna said into her speaker phone…now just do that a few hundred more times" She chuckled "You know the procedure" I nodded my head yes.

"So what is it exactly that you plan to do to get my album to sell millions?" I chuckle

"Well…actually we should be heading there now" he smiled as he picked up my CD case.

"Oh really?" The world was really looking up for me. My dad was ok, and Belle's graduating. Oh shit Belle's graduation!

"Lucas what is the date today?" I ask panicked

"June sixteenth why?"

"Shit!" I cursed "Lucas we have to get over to Belle's graduation!" I'm freaking out now " I was supposed to be singing!"

"Well this will have to wait then" Lucas said setting down the CD case.

"I'm sorry Lucas" I frown

"It's ok…really I'll just reschedule" I could tell he was upset about it even if he wasn't admitting it.

"SAMI where in the hell have you been!" Belle screams at me as my mom holds her back.

"Belle I'm really sorry" I frown

"You've got to get up there!" Belle is pointing to the stage

"Now?"

"YES NOW!" Belle shouts

"Ok…ok I'm going" I snap walking off toward the stage steps.

"Sami Brady is here to sing to us tonight" Some one announces as they hand me the mic.

"Oooo! Class of 2002!" I shout into the mic, but apparently no one cared it was dead silent. "Oh…um…I remember when I was in high school…good times…good times"

"You're not required to make a speech" Some one whispers from behind me.

"Um ok…on with the song" I say completely embarrassed. I had no clue what I was to sing, but Belle promised I would know the song. Music flowed threw the speakers oh yes I knew the song. What a great choice for graduation.

_And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives  
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25  
I keep thinking times will never change  
Keep on thinking things will always be the same  
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back  
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track  
And if you got something that you need to say  
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day _

I got a little misty eyed as I remembered my graduation day. They didn't play this song, but I'm sure if they head there wouldn't have been a dry eye in the house.

_Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down  
These memories are playing like a film without sound  
And I keep thinking of that night in June  
I didn't know much of love  
But it came too soon  
And there was me and you  
And we got so blue  
Stay at home talking on the telephone  
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared  
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair  
And this is how it feels_

In high school your life really isn't fair. You're too old for this and too young for that. Those were some tough years, but I will never forget them all the same.

_As we go on  
We remember  
All the times we  
Had together  
And as our lives change  
Come whatever  
We will still be  
Friends Forever _

Not to be pessimistic, but I don't talk to any of my friends from high school. _Oh yeah that's right I didn't have any. _

_So if we get the big jobs  
And we make the big money  
When we look back now  
Will our jokes still be funny?  
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?  
Still be trying to break every single rule  
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?  
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?  
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye  
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly  
And this is how it feels_

I laugh now, because all those popular chicks are pregnant and work at drive through. Maybe they'll see when my album comes out, maybe then they will wish they would have been nice to me. But then again maybe they'll learn nothing.

_As we go on  
We remember  
All the times we  
Had together  
And as our lives change  
Come whatever  
We will still be  
Friends Forever _

I look down at Belle, and yes she is cry as she hugs her best friend Tanya. There is a boy sitting on the other side of her stroking her arm. _Bell's got a boy friend! Belle's got a boy friend! _My head is screaming.

_La, la, la, la:  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
La, la, la, la:  
We will still be friends forever_

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?  
Can we survive it out there?  
Can we make it somehow?  
I guess I thought that this would never end  
And suddenly it's like we're women and men  
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?  
Will these memories fade when I leave this town  
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye  
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

I completed the song only to see pretty much every one crying. That is one powerful song. Belle is smiling through her tears. She might be a brat sometimes, but I love my little sister…


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days nor do I own the song Reaching For Heaven by: Diana Degramo. I do however own the song lyrics to Beautiful Disaster. **

**Chapter Thirteen **

"Are you excited?" He asks as I nod my head. Lucas was taking me to my so called surprise. The surprised that was supposed to get my album to sell lots more. "Were almost there" He says turning a corner, and stopping in front of a large building.

The building looked much like the studio where I record. It was several stories high and the walls of it glistened when the sun hit them. "Come on" Lucas said helping me out of the car and dragging me by my hand into the building.

The building looked similar to the studio inside as well. There was a front desk, but the girl behind it looked nothing like the girl at the front desk in the studio.

"Can I help you?" The woman spoke Looking at Lucas and I.

"Yeah this is Sami Brady" Lucas smiled pointing to me.

"Oh we have been waiting for you all morning." She spoke softly.

"Really?" I speak quietly still wondering what I am here for, and what Lucas has up his sleeve.

"Follow me" She smiled as she stood up walking down the hall. Lucas and I followed close behind the woman. She suddenly stopped in front of a door. Opening it she called "Sami is here"

"Oh bring her in" a male voice called. She simply nodded and motioned for both of us to enter the room. After both Lucas and I were inside the woman left closing the door behind her. "Well we had better get started" The male voice said "My name is Rylie" and I'll be filming you" He smiled shaking my hand.

"Filming?" I look up at Lucas

"Yes we are going to shoot a commercial for your album" He smiled again

"Well let's get you into makeup and wardrobe" Rylie spoke sending me through a door connected to the room. Once I was inside of the room I found two women. One stood by a mirror and another over by a rack of clothes.

"Hi I'm Ali" The woman by the clothes spoke.

"Hi I'm Sami" I replied walking over to her. I guessed they wanted me to dress first.

"Alright what do you want to wear" Ali spoke motioning to the clothing rack as I grinned wildly.

I finally settled on a blue top that had one thick strap as the other shoulder was bear. The color of the shirt matched well with my eyes. I wore a regular pair of jeans and some blue flats, the same color of the shirt.

I pulled open the same door I had entered almost an hour ago to see Lucas and Rylie waiting for me.

"Hey you ready?" Rylie asked

"Yep…what exactly are we going to do?" I asked as I looked at the props. There was a set up of a recording studio and my album cover lay on a desk.

"Well I was thinking we should sneak in a few shots of you singing into that studio set. You know so people can here a small clip of your music" I nodded my head as I walked over to the studio set and took a seat in front of the mic.

"That's good" Rylie spoke as he focused the camera on me. "Now you should sing a song from your album. I have the music to a few of your songs."

"We should do Beautiful Disaster hence the album title." I said as he shook his head in response

"Alright" He said as the music for my song came on. He gave me the thumbs up as to start singing.

_He laughs for the first time_

_I smile._

_The feeling is so new_

_Why is there a connection_

_Being build?_

_It's a disaster in disguise!_

_It's you and me_

_We're falling out of the sky_

_But I tell you it's alright_

_It's a disaster but it's beautiful_

_As we are looking down. _

This song was written for my father. Infact if you want to get technical half of this album was inspired by him. I owe him so much.

_It's a beautiful disaster! _

_It's you and me_

_And we're flouting above all_

_Looking down on it all. _

_It's a beautiful disaster! _

Lucas is standing behind the camera watching me. I hold back a smirk as I remember Lucas set this whole thing up.

_He laughs for the first time_

_I smile….I smile_

_At the beautiful disaster before_

_Me. _

The background music stopped at the end of the song. Rylie turned off the camera

"That was great Rylie spoke as he clapped. Lucas followed suit and brought his hands together in a clap. "I don't think we'll even need to do a second take." He smiled "You did wonderfully…Lucas wasn't kidding when he said you were a wonderful singer"

"YOUR COMMERCIALS ON!" Lucas's voice echoed through my apartment walls. I hurried out of my bed room and jumped on the couch. Looking over to the TV screen I watched.

First it showed me singing beautiful disaster, and then the words 'Sami Brady' ran across the bottom of the screen. Beautiful Disaster flowed across the top of the screen as I continued on singing.

The screen flashed white as a picture of my album came on. The words 'Coming This Fall' flashed on the screen. I smirked at the thought of Lucas sitting here waiting for the commercials to show. Normally people sit in front of the TV waiting for the commercials to end.

"Lucas lets hit it!" I smile pulling him up from the couch.

"Hit what?" He looks confused

"Well it's Tuesday night and the bar is calling" I say turning of the TV and dragging him out the door.

"I can't thank you enough" I smile and hug Lucas closer.

"Sami you don't need to thanks me" He pulls his arm tighter around my torso

"Nope but I think I can show you" I say practically bouncing out of his arms and rushing over to Glenda.

"I was wondering when you were ganna get up there" Glenda smirked I smiled back and requested a song. I took my place on the stage and waited until the music flowed through the speakers.

_All my life_

_There was just me and my dreams_

_And the days went ticking' by_

_Like the beat of my heart_

_Spend my nights_

_Wondering' how it would feel_

_When the waiting would end_

_And tomorrow would start_

_Suddenly I see the light_

_Out of the darkness I'm coming' alive _

I smile down at Lucas. He knew I was up here singing this for him. He knew how I felt about him...he had to right?

_So this is how it feels_

_Reaching' for heaven_

_This is how it feels_

_Kissing' the sky_

_This is what it means _

_Touching forever_

_Like a phoenix rising from the flames_

_I'm reaching' for heaven_

_All this time_

_I never knew I was so strong_

_But you made me find the fire_

_That was there all along_

_In your eyes_

_I can see all I can be_

_Suddenly I want it all_

_And I know you'll catch me if ever I fall_

I reached one hand in the air as I sang the words 'reaching for heaven' The crowd seemed to like the fact that I was into the song.

_So this is how it feels_

_Reaching' for heaven_

_And this is how it feels_

_Kissing' the sky_

_This is what it means_

_Touching forever_

_Like a phoenix rising from the flames_

_I'm reaching' for heaven_

_You alone have shown me_

_Shining new hope rises now for all _

_I owe you_

_It's my turn to show you_

It was my turn to show him how much I cared. He would know soon enough when my song 'This is How it Feels' is released. It's about him. Actually my song was inspired by the one I'm singing now.

_This is how it feels_

_Reaching' for heaven_

_And this is how it feels_

_Kissing' the sky_

_This is what it means_

_Touching forever_

_Like a phoenix rising from the flames_

_I'm reaching' for heaven_

_Reaching' for heaven_

The way I feel ever time I'm around him is heaven. I don't know how our paths haven't crossed sooner. _What is this new feeling? _I wonder to myself _I think I lo…._Don't say it! I fight with my mind. I do not…I can not! I just barely am getting over Austin.

_This is how it feels_

_Kissing' the sky_

_This is what it means_

_Touching forever_

_Like a phoenix rising from the flames_

_I'm reaching' for heaven_

_Reaching' for heaven_

_Heaven_

The song faded out as I placed the mic back on its stand. I ran down those few steps and Lucas rushed over to me. He didn't say a word just brought his lips to mine, his tongue grazing my lower lip begging for entrance, which of cores I granted.

Lucas broke the kiss off, his lips swollen from the pressure of the kiss. He was gasping for air as was I. He had kissed me before, but never like that. That kiss was so hungered and passionate I felt like he would devour me right there.

Lucas reached for my hand and led me outside in the cool night air. I shivered as it made contact with my skin. Lucas must have noticed this as he brought his arm around my shoulder to hold me closer.

I was expecting him to walk me back to my car and bid me goodnight, but he stopped about half way to our cars. My car was still there from earlier when he picked me up to do the album commercial.

I turned and looked up at his face. I could here his heart racing as he looked nervous.

"Sami there is something I want to tell you…" He trailed off

"What?" I ask impatiently while tapping my foot slightly on the ground.

"Sami this past month with you…well it's been…the best month of my life…and well…" Lucas gulped as he dropped to one knee. _Oh god what is he doing? I know what he is doing, but why? _I panic as he pulls out a red velvet box.

"Sami I've been carrying this in my pocket all day waiting for the best moment and I think this is a good one so here it goes" He paused briefly "Samantha Gene Brady" _I don't remember telling him my middle name. _"From the moment I met you I knew you were something else, and I finally realized that I can't live with out you. You are…"

"Lucas stop!" I cut him off. He looks up at me confused

"Sami I…" He starts

"Lucas I can't" I say as my eyes start to water. I stood there looking down at him for a moment until I hit the ground running, my shoes making a sound against the floor. I didn't turn back once; I simply opened my car and started it.

My tiers echoed to the night sky as I pulled away from the bar. I had left Lucas there kneeling on the ground looking like a fool.

As I drove on the black road a single tear slipped down my cheek…


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days. Nor do I own the song lyrics to Cry by: Mandy Moore. I do how ever own the lyrics to 'This Is How It Feels'. **

**Chapter Fourteen**

It was strange how quickly the summer had come and gone. I thought to myself as I stepped out into the crisp September morning air. It was nearly eight o'clock and I had promised to help Carrie get ready for her wedding at eight thirty.

Today was officially marked Carrie and Austin day. Or in my language the day Sami lost her man. _You lost you man over the summer _something in the back of my mind called. And trust me it wasn't referring to Austin.

I got into my car and started it up, and like always I turned on the radio. That was the first time I heard it. Well at least on the radio for the public to here. It was my song 'This Is How It Feels' I had written the song for Lucas, and now they were playing it for every one. I almost wanted to be upset, but then I remembered I had already put it on my album which was being relished next week.

_His eyes glistening in the dim light_

_But his smile lights the room_

_His words soft and tender_

_Taking my hand in his as we move slow_

_His hand on my waist _

_Whispering into my ear_

I had written the song after out date. When Lucas had taken me to dinner on the beach and we sang and danced.

_So this is how it feels_

_They say love's just a word_

_So this is how it feels_

_We'll sway and you'll say_

_You'll never let me go_

_So this is how it feels_

Wait a minuet did I write those words? Am I sure? Did I sneak the word love in there? Did I say I loved him through song?

_The song ends _

_Leaving me feeling empty_

_Why do I feel like only you can see me?_

It was just a song and nothing more. I reminded myself as I tried to sing along, but it was to weird knowing that it was already my voice coming out of the radio.

_So this is how it feels_

_They say love's just a word_

_So this is how it feels_

_We'll sway and you'll say_

_You'll never let me go_

_So this is how it feels_

There it was again that love word. What was this hypocrisy? I had convinced myself I didn't love him, and now here I am doubting my choice.

_So this is how it feels_

_They say love's just a word_

_So this is how it feels_

_We'll sway and you'll say_

_You'll never let me go_

_So this is how it feels_

_So this is how it feels…_

_His eyes glistening in the dim light_

_But his smile lights the room…_

Maybe there was more there for us? Why am I so blind? The questions were pounding in my head as Carrie ran out on her front lawn draped in her wedding dress.

"Sami!" Carrie barked so loud I could here her through the insolated car. I hurried to open the door.

"What? I'm not late am I?" I ask feeling as if I failed my sister

"Sami come inside we need to have one of those sister talks" She said quirking a brow as I grabbed my brides maid dress out of the back, and hurried to follow her inside.

Once inside Carrie took the dress from my hands and set it gracefully over the back of a chair.

"Sami what in the hell?" Carrie asked me a mad expression on her face

"What?" I ask looking at her confused. What in the hell was her beef?

"You dised Lucas!" She barked placing one hand on her clothed silk hip with a sassy attitude.

"Carrie I really don't think that's any of your business" I growl turning from her and making my way to the bathroom starting on my makeup and hair.

"It is my business when Lucas's brother is my husband to be!" She says following me into the bathroom

"Carrie it happened over the summer and I don't want to talk about it" I say brushing her off

"But why Sami?" She asks concerned "He had been waiting for a while to propose to you…heck he even asked me for help"

"He what?" I say turning from the mirror to face her

"He asked me for help on how to ask you so I told him just wait for the perfect moment." She finished

"Well I hardly call standing in a bar parking lot the perfect time!" I snap

"Hey that was his choice where he did it I had no say in that" She said pointing her finger at me "But Sami why did you turn him down?"

"It's nothing Carrie…" I sigh

"It's another man isn't it" the corners of her mouth turn up in a smirk

"Kinda" I respond

"Oh my gosh! So who is he?" she shrikes

"Well I thought he was the one, but it turns out he's got some one else" I reply

"Well steal him back!" If only she knew who I was talking about I smirked

"I can't he's getting married" I sigh

"What a jerk!" She protests as she joins me in applying makeup

Carrie and I looked in the mirror together pleased with ourselves. My dress was a pale blue that came off the shoulders. It came down to the waistline and from there flowed down to the floor. Carrie's dress was a simple white elegant dress. She wore a veil hair pin and white gloves to go with it.

I picked up my bouquet and handed Carrie hers as I picked up the train of her dress. Helping her out to the car, and then it was over to the church with us.

There he was, Lucas was waiting outside the chapel doors dressed in a tux with a blue flower pinned to it. The flower matched my dress. He was helping Phillip put on his flower as Belle came running in jumping to Phillip's side. She had a crush on him so to speak, and lucky her she got to walk down the aisle with him.

"It's go time" The wedding planner who stood near by said into her walkie talkie. Soft Music played as a small child entered the chapel throwing flowers on the white rug. Next Phillip and Belle started to walk out her arm around his.

I looked over to Lucas who had been looking at me the whole time. A flash of hurt on his face the same hurt that was on his face the night he proposed to me. HE held his arm up for me to take as he turned his face toward the path to the front of the chapel.

My mouth fell open in shock. I guess I did have to walk down there with him. Duh! I mean Belle had gone with Phillip who else was I supposed to go with? After I didn't take his arm Lucas looked over to me again.

"Sami come on…you holding the wedding up!" He whispered as I grew weak in the knees. _Maybe I did feel more for him then I was able to admit. _I nodded my head and took his arm, and looped it with mine. _You'd think Carrie would have been a better sister and let me go down with Phillip! _That's my head butting in.

We made it to the end of the rug and I reluctantly let go of Lucas. Then the wedding march began to play as Carrie came out from behind the back door. She was walking down the veil draped over her face.

I looked over to Austin who looked at her as if his breath has caught in his throat.

The wedding was short and simple followed by a reception. While at the wedding earlier I realized I was a fool for walking out on him. Lucas the man I was supposed to be with. I had thought for the longest time it would be Austin, but after seeing how great the two looked together at the wedding I realized there was no room for me there.

Austin had and always will be with Carrie. He had given his heart to her a long time ago.

Austin and Carrie where sharing there first dance as husband and wife as more couples began to join them including my dad and some other woman. I had never met her before, but my father seemed to take sudden interest in her.

I looked over to Lucas who had his head resting on his fist. He looked lonely and in deep thought. I was just about to go ask him to dance when a tall thin burnet stalked up and offered her hand to him. Lucas smiled as he stood up and went out onto the dance floor with her.

I almost started to cry as I watched him grope this woman on the dance floor.

"You didn't know did you?" A voice came from behind. I turned around to see Belle.

I didn't know what?" I ask confused

"You didn't know about Manda" She finished

"Who is Manda?" I ask almost afraid of the answer

"She is well…um Sami Manda is Lucas's girlfriend" She spoke almost afraid of me. I felt like I couldn't breathe at that moment. My heart was pounding so fast I thought for sure it would soon pound out of my chest. I looked to the dance floor and felt like I had just been slapped as I saw Lucas's lips on Manda's.

"Belle I'm just ganna go get some air" I spoke as I grabbed my purse making a mad dash for the door.

Once the cool September air hit my skin I shivered. Normally it was still slightly warm during this month, but the weather was strange this year. I looked up at the sky. The stars were barely visible through the gray clouds. I could tell it was going to start raining any second.

I could just see the tip of the full moon peaking out as the clouds slowly moved across the sky. I felt as if I was looking up at myself. The moon was me and the clouds were blocking me from true happiness.

"You're the only one who knows it all" I speak to the sky. "You've watched me grow and cry. You've seen me laugh and even scream." I start to chuckle thinking it silly that I was talking to the moon. So saving myself from embarrassment I clasped my hands together in prayer.

"God if your up there I would like to say thank you for today, and for Carrie. I'm glad she is happy. But god there is something I must ask. Why is my happiness such a long time in coming?" I pause a moment the tears building up in my eyes. "I'm putting my future in your hands now…amen" I finish as I feel two strong arms wrap around me from behind. I turn my head slightly to see Lucas.

"It looks like rain" He speaks his warm breath on my neck

"So it does" I say stepping out of his embrace, but keeping my back to him. _If this is your idea of happiness I don't like it! _I look to the sky as I think _He just had his hands all over some girl and now wants me! _

"Sami what is with you?" He asks turning around to face me

"Lucas I don't think your girlfriend would like to see you allover me" I say as I turn back around I can almost feel his eyes on my back.

"Damn it Sami! I saw it in your eyes at the wedding…I know you want to be with me. Do what is it?" He asks confused as a drop of rain falls on my lips. I lick it off.

"Lucas I'm sure your date is waiting for you" I speak as my heart screams to jump him right then and there.

"Sami" He speaks turning me around "I heard you praying" The rain is coming down much harder now. Lucas's hair is soaked as is mine. He pulls my arm around to face me again. I look at him he looks close to crying now. His hand still gripping my arm I push it off.

"Lucas just let it go" I reply as I begin to walk to my car. I'm soaked head to toe. I turn back to glance at Lucas once more I swear he is crying, but I can't tell if it's tears or the rain.

_I'll always remember  
It was late afternoon  
It lasted forever  
And ended to soon  
You were all by yourself  
Staring up at a dark gray sky  
And I was changed_

I sang as every one at the bar looked up at me. After my encounter with Lucas I wanted to feel free.

_In places no one would find  
All your feelings so deep inside  
It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

It was late September  
And I'd seen you before  
You were always the cold one  
But I was never that sure  
You were all by yourself  
Staring up at a dark gray sky  
I was changed

Kinda funny how well this song fit. It was late in September, and I swear he was about to cry. Maybe he was I couldn't tell with the rain.

_In places no one would find  
all your feelings so deep inside  
it was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

He had wanted me forever. He asked me to marry him he thought it was forever. How could I just shut him down like that?

_I wanted to hold you  
I wanted to make it go away  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to make your everything, all right  
I'll always remember...  
It was late afternoon_

_In places no one would find  
All your feelings so deep inside  
It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

I felt terrible at that moment, like if I ever saw Lucas again it would just break me. How was I ever going to fix us?

_In places no one would find  
All your feelings so deep inside  
It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry_

I got off the stage and headed over to the bar area. Trent looked at me as I spoke.

"Give me whatever you've got" I replied

"Are you sure Sami? I mean last time your drink went to waist"

"Just make me a damn drink!" I snapped as he turned and blended me a drink.

Handing me the glass I pulled the strawberry off of the side and popped it into my mouth. After doing such I raised the glass to my lips and downed it as if it were my last drink. Slamming the glass back down on the bar counter I spoke.

"Keep them coming Trent" Trent smirked in reply and began making me another. I downed the second one and many more after that…

_**To see Sami' Dress: **_

http/images. see Carrie's Dress: 

http/ 


	15. Chapter 15

**Declaimer I do not own anything to do with days nor do I own the song Don't Cha by the pussy Cat Dolls **

**Chapter Fifteen **

Trent set another glass in front of me. I turned quickly to pick it up as the room felt like it was spinning. I didn't care, hell I didn't care if I died of alcohol poisoning! I felt like I had nothing to live for. My father he is the only thing binding me to this earth and of coarse my album release.

I downed the glass I wasn't quite sure how many I had, had but I could care less.

"How about another" I slurred to Trent

"Sami I think you've had enough" Trent says picking up my glass and wiping it off.

"Damn it Trent! Just do your job and make me a drink!" I snap as I almost fall backwards off the bar stool

"Sami I think you should go…" Trent trails off as I see Glenda walk by.

"Hey Glenda!" I say as if she is the best person in the room.

"Oh her Sami…didn't know you were still here" I stumble off the bar stool as I whisper low a song title she should play.

"Oh alright" She said as she eyes my posture she could tell I was zunked

I giggle slightly as I rushed up to the mic. "Hey every one!" I scream into the mic as countless people cover there ears. "I've got one question for ya!" I feel like a flirt right now. "Don't cha?" it wasn't a whole question, but it would do. The song faded in trough the speakers as I shook my behind to the beat.

_Oh, baby dolls_

I know you like me (I know you like me)  
I know you do (I know you do)  
That's why whenever I come around she's all over you  
And I know you want it (I know you want it)  
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)  
And in the back of your mind  
I know you should be home with me

I twirled around the stage a hop in my step. "Shake it!" Shouted a male sitting in booth two.

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Don't cha, don't cha_

I sang with my back to all of them. Shaking my whole body around as if there were ants in my pants. I bent down and touched the floor as I turned my head towards them quickly making the room spin again.

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)  
Leave it alone (leave it alone)   
Cause if it ain't love  
It just ain't enough to leave a happy home  
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)  
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)  
See, I don't care   
But I know she ain't gona' wanna share

The image of Lucas groping Manda on the dance floor was racing through my brain over and over. It was like short movie out on repeat. His lips crashing down onto hers as she held onto him, her body as close as she could get.

I skipped across the small stage again nearly falling of the edge. _Some one should really take that mic away from here _My head whines.

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Don't cha, don't cha_

Shut up head you know I'm a darn good singer! I snap _Yeah but that dancing has gotta stop! _My head chimes in again _this is fun! _Is all the girlie side of me can say as she grips the bat ready to hit the sane side of my head. That's it the girlie side has taken over as I shake around the stage more.

_I know I'm on your mind  
I know we'll have a good time  
I'm your friend  
I'm fun  
and I'm fine  
I ain't lying  
Look at me, you ain't blind _

_Damn Manda! Sami look what she has done to Lucas! Taking him away! You shake it girl! _She chimes in again as I curl the mic cord through my fingers flirtatiously.

_I know I'm on your mind  
I know we'll have a good time  
I'm your friend  
I'm fun  
and I'm fine  
I ain't lying  
Look at me, you ain't blind _

I'm sure this whole bar had never seen this side of me. I began pulling at me jacket that was placed over my dress. I tugged it off swinging it around my fingers sending it flying across the bar.

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Don't cha, don't cha_

I begin trying to reach behind myself with one hand on the mic as the other tried to reach the zipper holding the dress on my body. I finally reached it and tried as hard as I could to pull it down.

_See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)  
I understand (I understand)  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you  
If you were my own man  
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)   
Possibly (possibly)  
Until then, Oh friend you're secret is safe with me _

Finally the zipper is down I let it slide off my body to pool at my feet. Stepping out of it I'm left with a white slip covering my under clothes.

"Sami!" I can here Glenda yelling at me

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Don't cha, don't cha  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Don't cha, don't cha_

Just as I am reaching for the hem of my slip someone grabs me pulling my dress around me as they rush me off stage. I turn to see a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes she kinda looked like me.

"Sami what in the hell!" She hissed into my ear

"Thank you thank you very much!" I chime into the mic before the girl pulls it out of my hand.

"Sami what are you doing!" She barks as if she knows me

"Who in the hell are you!" I slur

"It's Amanda you idiot!" She snapped as she helped me back into my dress

"I don't know any Amanda's…" I trail off as I notice that look. The death glare it was the same glair I had received from this girl when I first came to this bar. "Amanda!" I scream as I hug tackle her. She coughs slightly then she spoke

"Geeze Sami how many drinks have you had" I think she meant this from the smell of my breath.

"Just two or was it ten I don't know" I say letting her go "So how's New York?" I ask my best friend in the whole wide world

"Sami I'm engaged!" She shrikes showing me the rock on her finger.

"Damn girl who is he!" I say as I look at her ring shocked

"We'll get to that later right now I wanna know what in the hell you were doing up there!" She gives me the glare of death again.

A few miles up the road Manda was snuggling closer to Lucas as he inched farther away.

"What is with you lately" Manda got up from the couch and slipped her shoes on.

"Nothing" He said still drifting off into his own world

"It's like ever since you saw that Sami chick you're cold and distant!" She spoke her words forceful

"Manda I…I just don't think this is the best time for a relationship…that's all" He finished not even looking her way.

"What ever Lucas! I only wanted one thing from you and you won't give that to me so I'll go find some other bloke's bed!" She snapped as she rushed toward the door. She slowed down hoping he would come after her but he didn't. As soon as the door had closed he whispered low.

"Have fun" as he sat still trying to think of a way to get Sami. If making her jealous wasn't working then what would?

I had spilled it all to Amanda. The whole story with Lucas and Manda and my father, my real father.

"Damn Sami why didn't you call me" She says hugging me as I wince a bit. We are in a small coffee shop.

"Could you not yell" I whisper

"Sami I wasn't yelling…" She started but then remembered I was drunk "Oh sorry"

"It's alright…But I think I really am in love with him Amanda" I speak a tear threatens to fall down my cheek.

"Then there is only one thing to do" She says grabbing her scarf and coat.

"What?" I ask

"You have got to fight for your man!" she said slipping her coat on

"Ouch! The voice!" I said covering my ears

"Sorry" She whispered

"But he was with Manda!" I protest

"Sami if you love him you will forgive him…or at least find out why he did it" She said reaching for my hand to pull me up out of my chair.

"Your right Amanda, but first I need some aspirin and a good nights sleep." I said bringing my hand to my head

"Yes because tomorrow your going to apologize to the bar owners and employees" She chuckled

"Yeah I guess that was a pretty stupid thing to do wasn't it?"

"Very stupid, now come on you still gotta show me your place. Since I haven't seen it you lives on Brooks street when I left."

"Alright" I say picking up my coffee and heading out the door with Amanda…


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days nor do I own the song lyrics to will You Stay by: Wally Kurth and Christian Taylor **

**Chapter Sixteen **

The following day was officially marked as the most embarrassing day of my life in Sami history anyway. I stepped out of my apartment building that morning with a letter of apology to the bar, but to my surprise as soon as I made my way out to the street I was mobbed by screaming people.

"There she is!" Screamed a short round lady with a profusely large purse on her shoulder. "Look it's Sami Brady!" Screamed a young Hispanic girl.

Before I could hit the ground running people were all around me. All of them held tabloids of some kind. It wasn't until Amanda pulled me out of the large crowd that I could breath again.

"Sami look at this!" She shrieked

"What?" I ask grabbing the paper thin magazine out of her grasp. There pasted on the frond cover in big bold red letters it said **'Don't Cha'** , and below the words was a picture of me standing in the scrap of clothing also known as my slip. "Oh my god!" I cried pulling one of my hands over my mouth.

Amanda grabbed the magazine from me and flipped it to the article. She then proceeded to read it aloud. "The new hip pop sensation Sami Brady was caught bearing it all at a local bar last night. A local and regular at the bar quotes 'She literally tore the dress off'"

"Oh god Amanda" I started to cry

"It's ok Sami you'll be ok" She said throwing the tabloid to the floor as she brought her arm around my shoulder.

"What am I going to do?" I sigh

"We'll figure it out" She replied rubbing gently on my back "But first you have to find Lucas" She whispered

"Why in the hell do we have to drag him into this?" I snap lifting my head off of her shoulder

"Because you need all the support you can get"

"Do you really think he wants to see me after I turned him down?" I ask

"First of all Sami your in love with him, second of all he loves you, and most importantly third don't ever forget how he did bring a sleaze to your sisters wedding. So there for you are not entirely to blame he just egged you on."

"Your right I have to talk to him, but first I'm dropping of this letter" I said standing up pulling my jacket collar over my face as to hide my identity from the world.

I knocked on the navy blue painted door, and waited. Lucas was just beyond the door I could hear footsteps coming toward the door, and before I could take in another breath Lucas was standing before me.

"Sami…" He was speechless

"Lucas…I…um…" I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to him. _Tell him you love him! _My head screams. "Maybe I shouldn't have come" I say turning on my heels and starting to walk off, but a strong arm pulls on my elbow. I am spun around to face him.

Lucas's face looks a mess. He looks as if he isn't sure what he wants. I can see anger as well as pain in his warm chocolate eyes.

"Sami wait" He breaths his breath visible in the air, yes it's cold. He fills the gap between us, and looks as if he is about to kiss me. At the very last moment he pulls away.

"Won't you at least have some tea?" He asks

"Sure" I reply stepping inside his small home.

"This way" He says leading me into the kitchen where he automatically starts the tea. "So what brings you here?" He asks

"Lucas haven't you seen it?" I am already close to tears

"Seen what" He turns from the stove to see me taking a seat at his kitchen table.

"Lucas…it's…" I couldn't hold it I dropped my head in my hands and burst into tears.

"God…Sami…" Is all he says before I feel his strong arms around my shoulders. "What happened?" He asked rubbing the small of my back lightly.

"The tabloids…they" I couldn't even finish whole sentences

"They what?" He asks trying to get it out of me

"Turn on the TV" I instruct tilting my head back up and wiping at my eyes. Lucas walks over to the connected living room and flips on the TV. There it was a picture of me flashing across the screen.

I cupped my hands over my ears unable to listen to them down me. It was after all my fault, but how do you fix such a mistake? Why is it such a big deal if I weren't a singer I'm sure it wouldn't be plastered all over papers for the world to see.

A few minuets later Lucas's hands came to my ears pulling my hands off of them.

"Come with me" He smiled

This man is a genius; I don't know how I ever turned him down. I'm back stage in makeup now. Any moment I will be called to the stage where the host of the show will ask me about this whole stripping thing.

"Here she is Sami Brady!" Called the host as I heard clapping I went to the stage. I sat down across from Kate. I was now on the air on her show KTV.

"So Sami your album is being released tomorrow how is that going?" She asks

"Oh it's great I'm so glad all the recording is finished." I chuckle

"Well we brought you here to speak up on the recent tabloids" She said holding up a copy of 'The M' magazine.

"Yes about that, well I just can't see why it's such a large thing I'm a human being, and I have needs and feelings to" I smile I only speak the truth " Just because I sing people feel that they have to get into my personal life"

"I see" She replies resting her head on her hand like my mother does when she shrinks people.

"To tell you the truth it was a mistake I wasn't in my right mind. Normally I don't do things like that, but my life has been kinda crazy lately so I just let loose and that was wear I ended up." I am trying to keep my cool, and I feel much comfort as Lucas smiles at me from behind the curtain

"Sami what about Lucas?" She asks "An unknown source says you two were in love, but you turned him down" She frowns as she finishes

"You know I really think that's a personal matter…"

"Every one here is Lucas Robert's!" Kate shouts as Lucas walks out on the stage. My eyes widen _did he have this planned? _I wonder. Lucas has a mic in his hand I quirk a brow and give him my best 'What the hell' look.

"As you all well now know Sami turned me down the first time, but I'm hoping with you as my witness this will change her mind" Suddenly the lights dim and the spot lights on him. Lucas walks to me and takes my hand helping me to stand.

Tears form in my eyes as music blares through the speakers. Lucas brings the mic to his lips and starts to sing.

_You're everything I ever wanted_

_Every star I wished upon_

_Rock me gently_

_Like the baby I've become_

_When in your arms. _

_When I look across my life time_

_I see lovers leaving me_

_Will you be like all the others?_

_Or will you stay with me?_

Lucas hated to sing and I knew it. He was doing this for me on live television for all eyes to see. I finally realized at that exact moment how much he loved me. Sure I knew he loved me before, but I took it as just a word. This time I could feel it hell I could here it in his words even. The best part about it was I realized I loved him to.

_Will you stay with me?_

_Will I see our face tomorrow?_

_Don't turn away from me_

_My heart won't let you gooo_

_Will you leave like all the others?_

_Or will you stay with me?_

His eyes bore down into mine. I'm sure mine were sparkling with tears. I felt as if it was just the two of us in the room. No one else was even there to me. It was as if the world revolved around us for a minuet.

_A frog becomes a prince remember_

_And with just one kiss from you_

_We could have a happy ending_

_All our dreams could still come true_

_I know that I hurt you hunny_

_And now you want to run from me_

_Please don't run like all the others_

_Just you stay with me. _

_He just had to bring Manda into this! _My head chimes it Oh shut up and let the man sing! I yell back.

_Will you stay with me?_

_Can I count on you tomorrow?_

_Don't turn away from me_

_My heart won't let you go_

_Will you be like all the others?_

_Or will you stay with me?_

As the music played for a moment giving his voice a rest he mouthed the words 'I love you' to me. I mouthed them right back. I couldn't wait to really tell him hell I wanted to scream it.

_When I look across my life time_

_I see lovers leaving me_

_Will you be like all the others?_

_Or will you stay with me?_

_Will you stay with me?_

_Can I count on you tomorrow?_

_Don't turn away from me_

_My heart won't let you go. _

_Will you be like all the others?_

_Or will you stay with me?_

_Will you leave like all the others?_

_Or will you stay with me?_

Every one cheered as the song ended Lucas dropped to one knee and opened the same velvet box as before. I dropped to my knees as well.

"Sami stand up" He said looking at me strangely

"No" I said still crying

"Sami your being silly stand up"

"No I want to see your face properly when you ask me this time" I said another tear sliding down my cheek.

"Sami will you marry me" He asks holding the ring to my face. It sparkled in the light.

"No" Lucas's face fell "I will do more then that" I smile as I crawl on my knees closer to him. "I will honor and cherish you in sickness and in health til death do us part" I say bringing my arms around him

"Let's save that for the wedding" He whispers into my ear as he kisses me. "So was that a yes?" He asks breaking the kiss

"What do you think?" I chuckle as he slides the ring on my finger. Lucas stands helping me up as he grabs the mic.

"Thank you for joining me and sharing this moment with us" Lucas spoke as an audience member asked 'did she accept?' "Yes she accepted" Lucas chuckled giving me a light kiss.

"So what was with Manda?" I ask I know it was totally wrong to ask I just got engaged for god's sake.

"To tell you the truth it was to make you jealous" He replied

"Well it worked alright" Lucas stops dead in his tracks to look at me.

"What?"

"The night I got drunk I felt like I had lost you completely" I say "It's in the past now though" I grab his hand and walk on

"Well the album gets released tomorrow" He changes the subject

"So it does" I sigh" I hope it sales a lot I have got to pay for all of my dads surgeries.

"Sami I'm sure every one will love your CD. By the way thanks for the song dedication" He smiles slyly

"It was you who made me feel" I smile as he stops at my door.

"I love you Sami" He said it for real this time

"Lucas I love you to" I smile it felt so good to actually say it. He kissed me again before I entered my apartment and bid him goodnight. Tomorrow would be hell with all the record sales if I sold any. But for now it was to my bed to have hopefully sweet dreams. Maybe I could look them up tomorrow if I remember them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with days nor do I own the songs With You by: Jessica Simpson or Holiday by: Green Day. However I do own the lyrics to 'Untitled' **

**Chapter Seventeen**

I just had the most amazing dream. Lucas proposed to my on live television. I breathe in a deep sigh, but one of those good sighs not like a stressed sigh. I pulled out my dream book from its usual place on the shelf, but dropped the book to the floor at what I saw.

There on my ring finger was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. I looked at it for a long while as I remembered it really did happen didn't it? Lucas proposed to me! I skipped to my closet and opened it picking out my best outfit. It was one of my all time favorite things to wear.

I put on a green sweater shirt and a pair of jeans_. I should probably pay my Fiancé a visit _I thought to myself as I hurried to my vanity. After applying my makeup I was ready. I skipped into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Turning to my stereo in the small living room I hit play. Music came pouring into the room.

_The real me is a Southern girl  
With her Levi's on and an open heart   
Wish I could save the world  
Like I was Super girl  
The real me used to laugh all night  
Lying in the grass, just talking 'bout love  
But lately I've been jaded  
Life got so complicated _

I start thinking about it  
Almost forgot what it was like   
To know when it feels right 

How can one man make you feel so much? How can you start off so wrong for each other, and then end up in a wedding chapel?

_But with you  
I can let my hair down  
I can say anything crazy  
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground  
With nothing but a T-shirt on  
I never felt so beautiful  
Baby, as I do now   
Now that I'm with you_

With you  
With you  
With you   
Now that I'm with you

It's funny how songs can get your mind really pumping. This song makes me thing about Lucas. Of coarse he has never seen me in just a T-shirt, but when I'm with him I feel like I can be crazy and he won't care. He wouldn't care if I sang 'If you're Happy and You Know It' really loud on an elevator or in the car. Heck he would be clapping along with the silly song.

_You speak and it's like a song  
And just like that, all my walls come down  
It's like a private joke  
Just meant for us to know  
I relate to you naturally  
Everybody else just fades away  
Sometimes it's hard to breathe  
Just knowing you found me_

I chuckle as I grab my coffee mug. I will never forget our first date when he sang with me. I wonder if I make a second CD if he would sing with me on a song.

_'Cause I start thinking about it  
I almost forgot what it was like  
To know when love feels right_

'Cause with you  
I can let my hair down  
I can say anything crazy  
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground  
With nothing but a T-shirt on  
I never felt so beautiful  
Baby, as I do now  
Now that I'm with you

I can't believe I'm getting married! I jumped slightly spilling some coffee on the counter. I quickly wiped it up and poured myself a second cup of coffee.

_With you  
With you  
With you_

Come and take me  
Love you, save me  
Like nobody else  
Now I can be myself with you 

I quickly finished the last of my coffee as I listened to the rest of the song.

I can let my hair down  
I can say anything crazy  
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground  
With nothing but a T-shirt on  
I never felt so beautiful  
Baby, as I do now  
Now that I'm with you

I can let my hair down  
I can say anything crazy  
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground  
With nothing but a T-shirt on  
I never felt so beautiful  
Baby, as I do now  
Now that I'm with you

I couldn't help but glance at the ring again before I walked out my door. It was beautiful and even prettier in the sunlight. Its rays bounced off my ring making it sparkle.

I got into my car and turned on the radio. I could already tell it was going to be one of those windows rolled down blasting music kind of days. Faster then the speed of sound I rolled down all four of the windows and cranked up the tunes.

I chuckled slightly as I recognized my own song. I was blasting my very own song in my car.

_Oh, oh, oh, ya, ya, ya_

_Sometimes I feel upset _

_and mad. And soon I know_

_it will all turn to grey and_

_fade awaaaaaaaay. _

It was strange how well I could sing along. But I'm sure you could to if it was your song. I hit every note right on, and I'm sure if anyone saw me right now they would laugh, but I could really care less.

_It's like the pages of_

_The books are washing_

_away. The words of the _

_songs and the stories _

_screaming out loud. _

_I'm shouting, but you_

_Don't see me! It's almost_

_frightening. It's so untitled _

_Writing each and every_

_word hoping one day_

_I'll be heard. It's so_

_untitled._

I'm sure you guessed by now the song is called 'Untitled'. I know that sounds like a stupid title for a song. It's like her music sucks she can't even think of a good enough song title! But the title makes perfect sense to me. It's basically about life I mean what are you supposed to call it? Life is crazy it has its ups and downs you can't really title it.

_Life's like an untitled_

_book. Changing its_

_paths, ways, and word_

_It's so untitled_

_There we are and we're_

_Moving so slow my hand_

_in yours. And then it's goodbye_

_the song's over, and it's so_

_random they call it untitled _

I'm at a stop light now, and there is a silver car next to me. A few teens are packed inside of it staring at me. I just turn my music up louder and sing at the top of my lungs.

_And I feel like I'm_

_naked in front of the_

_town as I'm screaming _

_out loud! My life has been_

_changing it's so untitled _

I rush out across the intersection as the sports car next to me does. The stupid teens seem to wanna race. Well I was most certainly game. _My car could take them_ Mind you my head is very competitive. The next song came on blaring as I pushed down on the gas.

_Say, Hey!_

Hear the sound of the falling rain  
coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)  
The shame  
the ones who died without a name

Hear the dogs howling out of key  
to a hymn called "Faith and Misery" (Hey!)  
And bleed, the company lost the war today

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives  
On holiday

Hear the drum pounding out of time  
Another protestor has crossed the line (Hey!)  
To find, the money's on the other side

can I get another Amen? (Amen!)  
There's a flag wrapped around a score of men (Hey!)  
A gag, a plastic bag on a monument

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
this is the dawning of the rest of our lives  
on holiday 

First 50…60…70…80…90…95 my car was running at 95 miles per hour! I didn't even know my car could go that fast! I zipped on past the stupid car full of teens. I had an evil smirk on my face I knew I had one, but the smirk was quickly taken off as the car pulled up beside me.

I glared at the pesky teens as the laughed. "How about a little faster grandma!" one shouted as they pulled ahead of me. I was most certainly not a grandma! I huffed as I pushed the gas down even harder. I was going ninety nine miles per hour it was lucky that the road I am on is dead.

I gained on the teens as I finally pulled up next to them. I smiled and looked back at them as I had pulled ahead.

_(Hey!)  
(Say, Hey!)_

"The representative from California has the floor"

Zieg Hail to the president gasman  
Bombs away is your punishment  
Pulverize the Eiffel towers  
Who criticize your government  
Bang bang goes the broken glass and  
Kill all the fags that don't agree  
Trials by fire, setting fire  
Is not a way that's meant for me  
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives  
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives

This is our lives on holiday!

I turned back to look at the road and the last thing I saw was the truck coming towards me. It hit me head on, that was all I remember before I feel into complete darkness.

"Hello?" Lucas asked through the phone as he picked it up.

"Lucas turn on your TV NOW!" Barked his pesky brother from the other end of the phone. Lucas scrambled to his TV, and turned it on.

"Ok it's on" Lucas replied calmly

"Turn it to MTV!" He yelled again as the line went dead. Lucas grabbed the remote and turned it to MTV (Music Television) he was so taken aback at what he saw on the bottom of the screen. Bright green words ran across the bottom of the screen Lucas read them just before he rushed out the door.

New pop sensation Sami Brady's Album was released today. She has just been reported in a critical condition. There is no word on why or how keep checking back for farther updates.


	18. Chapter 18

**Declaimer: I do not own anything to do with days nor do I own the song 'Beat Of My Heart' by: Hilary Duff. **

**Chapter Eighteen **

I don't know why I'm here. I'm in the Salem hospital sitting down in the waiting room. I'm not sure how I got here or why I'm sitting in the waiting room. I was just in my car a few minuets ago. I was listening to Holiday by Green Day, and I remember racing some kids down the street.

I am officially freaked out! _How did I get here? _Is the question that keeps pounding in my head. I am standing up now, and walking down the lonely halls. There is no doctor in sight right now, but then again maybe things only happen at night. _Hmmmm…odd _I think to myself.

In the blink of an eye I see a hospital bed rushing towards me. I quickly jump out of the way as the doctors pushing it scream "Code Red!" Who ever was on that hospital bed must be unconscious or dead because they sure weren't moving.

My eyes suddenly widen as I wonder _What if I'm here because of my dad! What if his cancer came back?! _I am running more like floating to the front desk on the third floor. I finally approach it to see a familiar face.

"Lexie" I speak, but she ignores me. _I could get her fired for this! _"Lexie this is serious!" I snap, but she still ignores me.

Lucas punched the gas as he rushed into the Salem Hospital parking lot. _Damn this place is a zoo! _Lucas thought as he couldn't find a parking space. God he hoped she was ok as tears sprang to his eyes for the third time on the short drive.

_Is she alive? Is she dead? _Lucas wondered _What if I never get to hug, kiss, or tell her I love her again! _Questions pounded in his mind as he finally found a space. He pulled into the spot doing a terrible parking job as he did. He didn't care he just wanted to get to Sami.

Lucas entered the hospital doors as he came face to face with Amanda Sami's best friend.

"Amanda!" Lucas called as Amanda turned to face him." Where is she?" Lucas panicked

"I don't know…I just got here" Amanda mumbled she looked as if he was about to cry at any moment. Lucas shook his head in response and rushed to the front desk.

"Sami Bra….ouch!" Lucas was cut off by Amanda elbowing him in the stomach.

"Sami…H…" Lucas couldn't remember Steve's last name, but it didn't matter the nurse seemed to know who he was talking about. The nurse looked up wide eyed and shocked.

"She's on the third floor" She said almost worried "But I must ask...what kind of relationship do you have with her?"

"Don't you think that's a little personal" Lucas rubbed the back of his neck.

"She is talking about your relation not your sex life" Amanda rolled her eyes

"Oh" Lucas flushed slightly "I'm her fiancé"

"You're Lucas Robert's" The nurse looked shocked "Right this way!" The nurse led them over to the elevator.

"Look Lexie I'm not going anywhere so you had better start talking!" I snap, but Lexie continues working on her paper work. I spot a radio on her desk which is on low volume. I smirk as I turn the volume up. The radio makes slight heart beat sounds as lyrics follow it.

_To the beat of my  
To the beat of my  
To the beat of my heart_

I'm thinking about,  
Letting it out.  
I wanna give in,  
I wanna go out.  
Been looking around  
I've finally found,  
The rhythm of love,  
The feeling of sound.  
It's making a change, 

Lexie looks up at the radio quirking a brow she must have noticed it got louder. She reached for the volume and turned it down slightly. My hand shot out and turned it back up, but some how it was very hard for me to turn the knob. It was as if my hands couldn't touch it.

_The feeling is strange.  
Its coming right back.  
Right back in my range.  
Not worried about anything else,  
I'm waking up_

To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart.

Lexie looks angry now as she turns it down once again. I break out in laughs.

"I told you I'm not leaving" I chuckle as I turn it up once more.

_The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
It tears us apart.  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
Now I'm back to the start.  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,_

I'm up from my down.  
I turn it around.  
I'm making it back,  
I'm not gonna drown.  
I'm taking a stance.  
I won't miss a chance.  
I want you to see  
I'm not scared to dance. 

Lexie now looks frightened as she stands up, and unplugs the small radio. I break up into fits of laughter.

"Lexie you might as well accept the fact that I'm here" She sits back down and continues on working. "Damn it Lexie! God! Just tell me if my father is here!" She ignores me still. I would just go to another floor, but I already told her I wasn't leaving, and me being so stubborn.

"What do you mean it's STUCK!" Amanda screamed at the nurse as the elevator stopped on floor two.

"I mean it's not going!" The nurse huffed "It's alright we'll just call emergency" The nurse assured Amanda, and Lucas as she picked up the small red phone.

Tears came to Lucas's eyes as he crumbled to the elevator floor letting his back slid down the wall as tears racked his body. _Is she ok! Is she dead? _Lucas sobbed slightly as Amanda sunk to the floor to comfort him.

_The way that you feel  
Could never be real.  
I want you to know I finished the deal.  
So I'm saying to you  
I'll always be true.  
To the rhythm inside,_

To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,

Amanda started to cry as she thought about Sami singing at the bar.

"She always loved to sing those pop singers" Amanda sighed as the music poured threw the speakers into the elevator.

"Yeah" Lucas's lip trembled as he tried to smile.

"You have to stay strong Lucas Sami would want you to stay…" But Amanda was cut off by a slight jolt from the elevator. It was moving again.

I tapped my foot impatiently on the ground, but to my surprise it made no sound. _What is wrong with me? And why am I here? _I questioned again. Lexie suddenly looked up at the sound of footsteps.

There he was Lucas…my Lucas walking towards me. He was wiping his eyes for some reason.

"Lucas thank god" I screamed as I rushed to hug him. To my astonishment Lucas went right through me! He literally walked right through me!

"Sami?" Lucas said to Lexie as she instantly stood up and motioned for him to follow her. Amanda was here to she followed as well. I let go of my shock long enough to follow Lexie as well.

Lexie led all three of us around the corner to another area where I could see my mother, Belle, and my dad all drying.

"Daddy?" I questioned as tears came to my eyes. Why couldn't anyone see me? Why was every one crying?

"You had better go in alone Lucas…she would want to see you" My mother sobbed as Lucas nodded.

I followed behind Lucas as he opened a door. He walked in and screamed a small whisper of a scream. I was almost afraid to look. I peered in after him and screamed as well.

It was me! I was lying there in the hospital bed motionless! Cords and tubes running every which way from my body.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the days characters nor do I own the song 'Last Kiss' by: Pearl Jam. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers.**

**Chapter Nineteen**

It is really a very sad sight to see yourself on a more or less death bed. No I'm not dead, well at least not yet. I could here the occasional beep of the heart rate machine going off. I was still here…I still had a pulse. I watched silently as Lucas took a seat at my bedside, well my body's bedside.

I wasn't sure what to do at that moment. Maybe I should try to get back in my body. _Of coarse you should stupid! _My head shouts. _Goodness even in ghost form your still here!_ I snap at my head. I was about to move to the bed and try to enter my body, but I was frozen at the sight of Lucas.

He sat there looking at me for a moment, but then I saw it right there. His walls came crashing down as a single tear slipped down his cheek. He was crying, the man I knew so well, the man who held me as I cried was now here crying like a baby right in front of me.

"God please don't take her" He sobbed reaching out for my hand. I could feel it…I mean my ghost form could feel his hand on mine. I moved my transparent hand so hold his back, but nothing happened. His warm flesh made my hand tingle. "Please god…if your really up there don't take her…you can't possibly need her more then I do right now" He sobbed even harder this time taking his hand that wasn't occupied and wiped his tear stained face.

"Lucas I'm right here" I sighed as I reached out to touch him. My hand didn't even graze his cheek it went strait through him. Tears came to my eyes as I tried to touch him again. _Can ghosts even cry? _My head asked, but I wasn't really sure how to answer that. I mean don't you have to be dead to be a ghost? I'm not dead the monitors say I've still got a pulse.

"There is so much we haven't gotten to do yet Sami" Lucas sobbed gripping my hand tighter which I felt as I took a seat next to him in another chair. _How come you can sit in a chair, but you can't touch him? _My head whines "We were supposed to be married next month…and I wanted to have kids Sami…yeah lots of kids" He smiled slightly through his tears.

"I wanted it to Lucas" I sobbed as some one knocked on the door. Lucas looked up from me (my body) to see Austin enter the room.

"Hey buddy how ya doin?" Austin asked closing the door silently

"Lets see…" Lucas began fighting of tears "How would you be if your fiancé were in a comatose and, may never wake up! HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK I FEEL!" Lucas roared at Austin who looked taken aback.

"I'm sorr…" Austin started

"Sorry" Lucas laughed a sarcastic laugh "Every one is sorry, well sorry isn't going to bring her back!" Lucas's voice broke as sobs racked his body once again.

Austin rushed to Lucas's side and sat in the chair (Lucky for me I moved out of the chair just in time) next to him. It's a strange thing to see to siblings who weren't really best buds hugging. It wasn't one of those leaning hugs either; you know the kind where your arms just kinda lean in while the rest of you tries so hard not to touch the other person. No this was a full blown out hug fest.

I watched from the corner of the room as Lucas's tears fell onto Austin's green sweater.

Every one had cleared out of the room by ten o'clock. Lucas was still in the hospital, but my mother demanded he at least get himself a cup of coffee if he planned on staying the night, so he did. Now was my chance to try and get back into my body. I stood there looking over myself for a moment thinking of what to do.

_Do I always have dark circles under my eyes? _I wondered to myself as I gentle climbed on top of my body and sunk into it my back going down first. _Is it working? _My head asked. I moved my arm up, but it seemed my body just wasn't sticking.

After many tries I cried out in frustration "I'm not sticking!" I got up off the bed and out of my body just as I heard the door opening. It was Austin _I didn't know he was still here? _I said to myself as he crept next to my body.

"Hey there" he smiled as he looked down at me. His smile soon faded and was replaced with tears. "Sami there was so many unspoken words" He sighed "You know if I had known this was going to happen I would have told you so much" he sobbed

"What in the hell are you talking about?" I questioned as if he could here me.

"Sami I…I love you" He sobbed

"WHAT!" I screamed my hands flying to my mouth in shock

"I wish to god I would have told you…maybe then Lucas wouldn't have you" He wiped his eyes "If I wasn't so stupid…so foolish…if I wasn't blinded by Carrie I maybe could have noticed sooner you were there all along" His tears had subsided some, but you could still here the occasional quiver of his breath.

"Sure you love me now!" I rolled my eyes, but I was still in a state of shock, my stomach felt like it was disgusted, like I couldn't handle another moment in this room with him. I was in love with Lucas and nothing and no one could change that! I started to bolt from the room, but was stopped at the sudden tingle on my lips.

I turned around to his lips on mine. AUSTIN REED HAD HIS LIPS ON MINE!!!!!

"Get off of me!!!" I screamed wishing I could slap him really hard at that moment. It seemed my wish would be fulfilled, well not entirely it wouldn't be me who got to slap him, but I knew he would be getting more then just a slap as Carrie entered the room.

"WHAT THE…." Carrie stopped herself before she could curse. Austin finally got his greasy lips away from mine and looked up to see Carrie.

"Wait Carrie this isn't what it looks like!" but it was too late tears were streaming down Carrie's face as she ran out of the room.

"CARRIE WAIT!" Austin screamed as he ran after her. I was still shocked _He loved me? Austin loved me? How? Why? Why was it now that he loved me? Why didn't he love me before when I still loved him? _The questions seemed to never leave my head.

I was brought out of my thoughts as Lucas entered the room a tear stricken Carrie behind him. Her head tilted toward the floor as she sobbed.

"Shhhh…its ok" Lucas tried to sooth her as he placed his arm around her shoulders.

"It wasn't like a quick kiss it...was…a...full…on…lip to...lip…thing" Carrie sobbed into Lucas's shoulder as he helped her sit down.

"Just give him some time, he'll come around" Lucas sighed "trust me I know my brother he'll be at home waiting for you with flowers and candy" Lucas rolled his eyes at how well he knew his brother.

"But why…" Carrie's sobs were subsiding

"Maybe it was a goodbye kiss" Lucas breathed in a deep sigh "you know Carrie you don't even wonder how this is effecting me do you?" Lucas asked as Carrie looked up confused. "My brother kissed my fiancé for god's sake!" He snapped

"Lucas…I'm…sorry I didn't even consider…"

"No you didn't!" Lucas snapped again

"Lucas I'm sorr…" but Lucas must have seen the sadness in her eyes.

"Look don't be sorry I'm the one who snapped" he assured her "But I think you should go home and fix things with Austin"

"Lucas I don't want to leave you here alone" Carrie looked worried

"Carrie just go I'll be fine…besides I would like to have a word with her alone" he said as Carrie nodded leaving the room. As soon as the door closed tears fell down Lucas's cheeks. Soft music was barely hearable though the speakers.

_Oh, where oh where can my baby be?  
The Lord took her away from me   
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good  
So I can see my baby when I leave this world. _

"I'm sorry Sami" Lucas sobbed "I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep that slime away from you…I'm sorry I wasn't there when the truck came toward you…I'm sorry for everything Sami" Lucas sobbed he was blaming himself for my injuries!

_We were out on a date in my daddy's car  
We hadn't driven very far   
There in the road, up straight ahead  
A car was stalled, the engine was dead  
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right  
I'll never forget the sound that night  
The screaming' tires, the busting' glass  
The painful scream that I heard last_

"Lucas it's not your fault" I said as tears sprang to my eyes. I moved over to him and sat down once again in the chair next to him. _Maybe I could touch him… _I thought quietly as my hand reached out. I stopped myself in mid air not wanted to get my hopes up.

_Oh, where oh where can my baby be?  
The Lord took her away from me   
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good  
So I can see my baby when I leave this world. _

"Maybe if I hadn't let you go last night…I should have just held you in my arms all night…maybe then you would be here right now laughing with me holding me, kissing me" another tear escaped him.

_When I woke up, the rain was pouring' down  
There were people standing all around  
Something warm rolling' through my eyes  
But somehow I found my baby that night  
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said  
"Hold me darling just a little while."   
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss  
I found the love that I knew I would miss  
But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight  
I lost my love, my life that night._

I began to move my hand towards him again, and as I reached his cheek he flinched. My hand was touching him! It was actually touching him! It wasn't going through him! Lucas shrugged it off and went back to crying. I think in order to touch something I have to really want it.

_Oh, where oh where can my baby be?  
The Lord took her away from me   
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good  
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.  
Oooh ooooh_

Like when I turned the radio volume, I mean I could do it even though I felt as if it were slipping through my fingers. When I touched Lucas it felt like to magnets facing the opposite way so they were pushing away from each other.

I pushed my hand closer with all my might and succeeded in touching his cheek again. He jumped slightly, but once again shrugged it off as he wiped his tears.

"Please wake up Sami…please" Lucas begged as another tear escaped my eye.

"I'm here Lucas…I'm here"….


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the days characters nor do I own the song 'Fall to Pieces' by: Avril Levine. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers.**

**Chapter Twenty**

"Sami Brady's album 'Beautiful Disaster' hit stores yesterday, and sold a total of 1.3 million copies" The TV in my hospital room was on as Lucas watched silently. Lucas hung his head down.

"If only you could be here to enjoy the success" He sighed

"We were informed a few hours ago that Sami is in critical condition and currently in a comatose" Lucas reached over and clicked the TV off with the remote. I couldn't believe it! 1.3 million copies! I'm a hit! I jumped in place at that moment wishing I could hug Lucas.

The door to my room opened and a tall thin nurse walked in. "Mr. Roberts?" She spoke

"Yes" He looked up

"Mis. Evens asked me to fill you in on Sami's condition" She sat down in the chair I had become so familiar with over night.

"How is she? Will she wake up?" Lucas practically jumped at the nurse.

"Actually" The nurse smiled "Ms. Brady's condition is climbing quite well, she seems to be getting better. Her stats are looking pretty sharp, but…"

"There is always a but isn't there" Lucas sighed

"But" the nurse continued "There still isn't any telling on when she will wake up" Lucas's face looked a mess at that moment.

"Please…" Lucas paused to look at her name tag "Lindsey tell me is there any hope she will…wake?" Lucas stood there holding in tears. I watched him about to cry myself.

"Mr. Robert's I'm sorry I can only tell you that stats are climbing there is no telling when she will wake up" Lucas looked alarmed.

"God…" he sighed as a sob escaped him "I can't…this…" he couldn't even get out a whole sentence before he collapsed into one of the green chairs. The nurse looked saddened as she walked out the door closing it behind her.

Lucas's body shook wildly as his body erupted with more sobs. I looked at him silently. This was killing him inside and out. This, me all of it! Christmas would be rolling around the corner very soon, and I knew he would be devastated to see me here lying like this on Christmas.

I know him to well he would be here on Christmas morning hoping and praying for me to wake if I hadn't by that point.

A knock on the door made Lucas's sobs subside a little.

"Hey" My father stepped into the room.

"Hey" Lucas offered a weak smile.

"The book store just isn't the same without her" My dad tilted his head towards the floor. "I brought this for her" he smiled and held up the small stereo.

"Yeah we can't have her missing out on those new songs" Lucas chuckled, but then looked to the floor as if he would cry again.

"Lucas we all miss her…the only thing we can do is prey and wait"

"I know…" Lucas started but paused at his voice cracking "It's just so hard…what if she doesn't wake up? What am I supposed to do? We were supposed to get married next month" Lucas sobbed, but turned away from my fathers gaze.

"Lucas it's ok to cry" His voice cracked "You're pretty much my son now and the only one I've got, and damn it don't be ashamed you have reason to cry!" He barked as a tear drop rolled down his cheek as well.

"You know I never really had a father" Lucas spoke wiping at his eyes. I stood in the corner of the room watching as the two of them continued on with there father/son chat. I tried to hold in my sobs but finally gave up and cried as well.

Lucas plugged in the stereo and hit play. It was a new song, one I hadn't heard yet. Must have been a new release.

_I look away  
Then I look back at you  
You try to say  
The things that you can't undo  
If I had my way  
I'd never get over you  
It ain't the day  
I pray that we make it through_

Make it through the fall  
Make it through it all

My dad hugged Lucas goodbye thinking it appropriate after there so called 'chat'. I walked over and sat down next to Lucas. It was killing me inside to see him like this and know that I could do nothing what so ever about it.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it_

And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it

Maybe I could touch him again. I reached my hand out to touch his quickly forcing the magnet like pull away. I grabbed his and, and he looked down at his hand. He could feel me!

"Lucas I'm here..." I whispered into his ear. He brought his finger up to his ear as to unclog it. He could here me to! "Lucas I'm here! Right next to you!" I shouted

"Sami..." he whispered

"Yes…yes! That's it! I'm here!" I was practically in his face now.

_Cuz I'm in Love With you  
I'm in love with you  
Cuz I'm in love with you  
And I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you_

"Ok Lucas you are officially crazy!" he mumbled to himself

"No! No Lucas I'm here!" I screamed again.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it_

Lucas sighed and sat up to take my hand. My real hand not the transparent one. I could feel it making my hand tingle.

"Please come back to us Sami" He sighed again "I miss you so much…Christmas will be here sooner then you know it…I was hoping to spend it with you" his voice cracked for the millionth time that day.

_Cuz I'm in Love With you  
I'm in love with you  
Cuz I'm in love with you  
And I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you_

"You know your album is still climbing the charts" He smiled "Sami you're a hit! You'll be able to pay off Steve's surgery and still have lots of money left over if sales keep going like this. You have to come back…you have to enjoy and kick back in life…all that work on your album…" He stopped and laid his head on the edge of the hospital bed his hand still clasped in mine.

"God I love you" he sobbed into the blankets. "Come home to us Sami…your family needs you…I need you…"


	21. Chapter 21 the end

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the days characters nor do I own the song 'Giving Up' by: Silverstein. The only payment I receive is feedback from the kind readers.**

**Chapter Twenty One**

My body didn't wake, it didn't even move. The next two years were as awful as the first day I was placed in this hospital. Lucas would still visit every day. No matter how booked his schedule got he continued to sit by my bedside every day.

Except he no longer cried every day. It had now become a daily routine for me to roam the hospital halls. I could be well known as the ghost of the hospital! Christmas was once again rolling around the corner and the fresh blanket of snow on the ground looked beautiful against the moon light.

My popularity from my album had died down. Of coarse I was a millionaire, but how do you spend money when you're a vegetable? My fathers hospital expenses had been well paid for, the only thing that had possibly not changed was me being a vegetable and Lucas. Nothing about Lucas had changed.

He looked the same, and he still wore his same old gray jacket in the winter time. He never changed; maybe it was because he wanted to be the same when I woke up...if I ever woke up. I looked up at the clock as it read seven thirty. Lucas would be in my hospital room any minuet.

I rushed to my room floating along the halls. I had just reached the outside of my room door when I heard my sister Carrie's voice in my room. She was talking to some one.

I quickly walked threw the door and looked inside. It was Carrie talking with my doctor.

"So how much longer do you think?" She asked, mind you Carrie had changed over the past two years along with everything and everyone else except Lucas. She was, well a bitch. There is no other way to put it. Sure I love my sister, but she can be so mean for no reason.

"Well her stats aren't exactly climbing" He replied.

"Oh" Carrie paused as a tear trickled down her pale cheek "Please tell me is my sister going to die!" She sobbed, but a half hearted sob. I could tell she was faking. I don't know what she was playing at, but I didn't like it.

"I'll just leave you a minuet" The doctor replied.

"Thank you" Carrie sobbed and waited for the door to shut behind him. Suddenly Carrie's frown turned up into a smile. "Listen here Blondie!" She snapped at me, well at my body. "You've taken everything from me! First you took Austin…yes that's right all he ever talks about is you, you YOU! Then you had to make an album and become world wide and outshine-"

"Carrie?" Lucas stood at the doorway to my room

"Oh Lucas" Carrie look's panicked

"What are you doing here?"

"I was…a…singing…yeah singing to Sami!" She paused "Shine on me today…" Carrie sang

"How was your day?" Lucas grinned moving closer to her

"Good how was yours hun?" _hun? _I question myself. Carrie walked up to Lucas and leaned in right there in front of me and my body and KISSED him! Just there on the lips! Lucas's arms wrapped around her as Carrie's reached up around his neck, where one of her hands played with his hair. Apparently Austin and she were over.

I felt shattered. Nothing had changed in the past two years. Nothing about Lucas he still wore that same old grey jacket every time he came to see me he still spiked his hair the same way, and he still wore that same burnt out look. But not this time, no he was smiling beneath the kiss I could see it.

My heart literally felt as if it were braking. It hurt inside. I couldn't scream, I couldn't cry. I was so shocked by this; I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed this before. Why would I ever expect him to wait for me? Of cores he would move on I shouldn't have expect him to give up his life for me.

They finally broke apart and Lucas smiled down at her.

"I love you Lucas" Carrie grinned

"I love…." But he trailed off "Hey lets go grab a bite to eat?" He questioned and walked out the door.

"I'll be there in a sec Lucas" Carrie shouted as she turned back to my hospital bed.

"And now to lead sleeping beauty to the fiery pits of hell" It was almost as if flames danced across her eyes as she reached for the plug outlets. She placed her freshly manicured fingers on one of the plugs, and gave a gently tug on it until it fell to the floor. The heart monitor's regular beeping began to slow.

My ghostly figure began to disappear, as did Carrie when she zipped out the door behind Lucas.

"No!" I screamed as tears sprang to my eyes "Carrie how could you!" I was disappearing first I noticed it in my hands as it traveled around my body.

"SAMI!" a voice came from the door way. It was Austin mind you my ghost has almost completely disappeared. "NURSE!" Austin shouted running to my bedside. He tore the oxygen tube from my face and placed his lips to mine. Holding my nose he breathed into me.

"No Sami not like this!" He cried as he placed his lips to mine again. My eyes shot open. Not my ghostly eyes my eyes! It was me again in my body! I gently pushed Austin off of me.

"Sami!" Austin screeched as he looked at me in aw. "Your….your awake" He blinked as if I wasn't real. "Oh god Sami" Austin sighed grabbing me as he began to cry. "Oh Sami they talked about pullin the plug on you so many times! I always knew you were a fighter!" He cried. I didn't know what to sad I was in to much a state of shock. The heart monitor was now beeping frantically.

"She is in shock!" The nurse called from the doorframe. "Out!" She called to Austin as she rushed to me with a needle. Pricki8ng it into my arm I immediately fell back onto my bed.

Visitors would be arriving soon, and I knew it. They would surely call my whole family. _And Lucas _my heart felt as if it would break again. I wouldn't stay here! I wouldn't look upon his cheating face!

I was well awake now and Austin had left to go get Belle, and Lucas and Carrie were no where to be found. I gently climbed out of bed I still felt so weak from being asleep for so long. I could barely speak, and hardly remembered how to walk. My legs felt like jelly as I tried to stand. I reached a near by wheel chair, but was cut off by a cord attached to me. An ivy in my hand. I grabbed a towel and applied pressure to my hand as I quickly pulled it out.

I plopped down in the wheel chair not really sure of what I was doing, but I knew I had to get far from this hospital. _Where to go? What to do? _My mind was clouded with questions. I wheeled around in circles in my room. I didn't have much time so I had to make it quick.

_Hello I'm a millionaire! _My mind practically screamed I could have anyone and do just about anything. I looked to my bedside phone…_No bad idea they could trace calls out of that on a phone bill I bet. _I looked around the room frantically as my eyes came across a purse. It was my purse _My cell phone! _I thought praying it would still be turned on. I wheeled to it and pulled out my phone. I couldn't really talk but texting would work.

I'm soaring high above the clouds. Being a millionaire has its quirks complete with private jet. I was heading for the beautiful land of Paris.

"Mu….mus…k" I tried to say, but was still unable to speak well. The waiter on the plane handed me my CD player. I had requested a CD be waiting for me with a portable CD player.

I placed the head phones over my ears and hit play.

_I used to make the light shine for you,  
The sun has left my sky.  
Velvet walls surround my sorrows,  
I've sacrificed my pride._

_Giving up on me,  
You're giving up on me  
Giving up on me,  
You're giving up on me. _

I didn't give up on you Lucas you gave up on me…on us. I had left nothing but a note on my hospital bed as I left that hospital. It contained only an I Love you to my family and a thank you to Austin for saving me. I knew once I got to Paris I would have to heir a teacher to help me speak again as well as a physical therapist to help me walk again. Until then I would have to heir people to help me get around.

_I've laid myself to sleep tonight  
I know you've played out everything in your mind._

And now you throw it all away,  
A shattered memory that you would stay.  
Through thick and thin with me,  
You're giving up on me. 

How could he do this to me? Why did he move on just like that? I shouldn't have expected him to wait for me, but when he told me he loved me…I almost feel as if now it were all only a lie.

_Giving up on me,  
You're giving up on me  
Giving up on me,  
You're giving up on me._

I lied myself to sleep tonight  
I know, you've played out every line in your mind

I wasn't quite sure at the moment how I would ever get over him. I hadn't cried just yet but I knew that would be coming soon. Once I was alone I knew it would all pour out of me like a black waterfall of secrets.

_And now you throw it all away  
A shattered memory that you would stay  
Through thick and thin with me._

And when you feel the pain,  
I'm wishing I could stay.  
How can I say I love you back,  
You never made me happy.

House hunting that was another thing I had to be looking in to. I wanted to have a house build but I knew it was completely impossible to arrive there and have my home done already. I would need to find a starter place then plan my home.

_You've laid yourself to sleep!  
I never said this wouldn't hurt.  
You gave up everything!  
I never said I'd give it back._

I know! (I know!)  
You'll never change!  
I won't be good enough for you.  
I know! (I know!)  
You'll make it through,  
I'll never be around to see.

And now you throw it all away  
A shattered memory that you would stay  
Through thick and thin with me. 

_Giving up on me,  
You're giving up on me  
Giving up on me,  
You're giving up on me._

The song faded out and tears sprang to my eyes as the next song came on. Curse this song! It was like the pledge of mine and Lucas's love all over again. My soft tears turned into hysterics as I pulled a blanket over my head and cried the song continued to play.

_Is this a dream?  
If it is  
Please don't wake me from this high  
I've become comfortably numb  
Until you opened up my eyes  
To what it's like  
When everything's right  
I can't believe_

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

So, here we are  
That's pretty far  
When you think of where we've been  
No going back  
I'm fading out  
All that has faded me within  
You're by my side  
Now everything's fine  
I can't believe

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me  
You found me

And I was hiding  
'Til you came along  
And showed me where I belong  
You found me  
You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know?  
How did you know?

You found me  
When no one else was lookin'  
How did you know just where I would be?  
Yeah, you broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
You found me

(You found me)  
(When no one else was lookin')  
You found me  
(How did you know just where I would be?)  
You broke through  
All of my confusion  
The ups and the downs  
And you still didn't leave  
I guess that you saw what nobody could see  
The good and the bad  
And the things in between  
You found me  
You found me 

**The End**

**Note: Don't freak out! There is a book 2 already in the making it's not over! Don't worry!!!! **


End file.
